How to help my 10 year old cope with the death of a loved one?

Gina - posted on 04/19/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )




My 10 year old is having a hard time dealing with the death of my uncle (his great uncle). Our uncle died about 9 months ago and my son was of course hurt when I told him, but he seemed to deal with it fine until this past month. He has been crying at least once a week before bed because he's sad that his uncle is passed on. Grandma, Grandma, and I have talked with him but it doesn't seem to help with his sadness. What else can be done? What have you tried that seemed to help?


Louise - posted on 04/20/2011




This seems odd to me that there is a gap of 9 months before he has started to do this. Are you sure there is nothing else going on in his life that has sparked this off. Maybe he is unsettled at school or being bullied. Sit him down and ask him if there is anything he wants to talk about, his uncle passing away could be a cover for allowing himself to cry. Spend some time with him one to one and see if you can crack through the wall he has built up around himself. The best way to do that is to take him bowling or something and chat informally. Give him all the time he needs. If this does turn out to be over his uncle then talk to a therapist to help him handle his grief.

Tiffany - posted on 04/20/2011




I just recently went through the same thing with my 5 yrar old daughter. My 1year old nephew past away and she was heart broken crying all the time and saying how she was sad and going to miss him. So she slept with pictures of him and I told her that whenever she wanted to talk to him or see him she will always have his picture. She reads to him and talks to all the time and that helps her get through. Its been about2 months and getting better. We will always miss him.

Shannon - posted on 04/19/2011




The 28th of this month marks a yr since my FIL passed away, my older 2 kids have written letters or poems for/about him and we had 8x10 photos made of him so that they could hang them in their bedrooms. My oldest "talks" to him every day and tells him how her day went and anytime she is having a rough time with school work it helps her work things out. I also find that going to the cemetery and letting the kids attach sentiments to balloons and releasing them helps them too. Good Luck

Tinker1987 - posted on 04/19/2011




when i was 7 i lost my grandpa, i remember writting him letters and drawing him picutres.and id bring it to his grave or keep it in a box at home... now days they have scrapbooking.maybe you can sit down with your son and scrapbook a page every night,then when the album is done he can look back at it anytime he wants. (just a suggestion) but it could help.


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Gina - posted on 04/20/2011




Thank you so much for the suggestions so far Moms :-) I didn't think of any of those such as scrapbooking, releasing balloons, and just talking to his uncle at night-which it seems he is most sad.
Louise I also found it odd that after all this time has passed he is just starting to show these signs--the CRCT is next week so I am sure he is having some stress related to the 'big' test. I will most certainly take some time to talk one on one with him over a nice dinner to help him open up.

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