How to I deal with the ex wife who continues to come into our home and just stop by unannounced?

Victoria - posted on 06/16/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have been with my husband to be for 8 years. He has 3 boys ages now are 14,15,17. I have two children a daughter 14 and a son 12.

His boys live with us fulltime except for the 15 year-old who recently moved in with Mom. My ex husband and I co-parent so it's a split visitation.

Point of my story, this woman with whom I never, ever, talk about to her children just won't back off. She is now divorced 2x since divorcing my soon to be husband. My bf let her borrow money to obtain a house closer to their children and now she can't pay it back but I could see that coming.

My biggest problem is that she talks bad about me to her children and makes fun of me and my children. The 17 year-old has come to me telling me this and sometimes doesn't want to go to his mom's due to this. Whenever she comes to get the children she walks right into the house with a little knock on the door. She doesn't even acknowledge me with a hello, she just doesn't even look at me. She also thinks it's okay to put her trash in our bin or have the kids do it, when she has been told to stop. I need to put this woman in her place because this is OUR house not hers. Just this week she has stopped in at least 4 times and not once said hello to me. The 17 year-old has noticed this and has talked to my bf stating it is rude to do. I am thinking if me and my bf send an email stating what we don't want which is her invading our privacy etc... that this will be a good start to letting her know that him/I are a team and we are both saying we want her to stop her behaviour. If she wants to visit with the boys she can visit outside. No need to keep coming into our house. She lives 15minutes away but has to use our bathroom everytime she comes here...
I have been helping raise the boys since 4 years ago when she decided to more 45 minutes away from them. I respect the fact that she is their Mom and should see the kids but back off and stay out of our home. She makes comments about my decorating to me and/or makes comments to her children on how I should decorate.
Other people, including my bf's sister see the way she treats me. Also, other mother's from the baseball team get to listen to the things she says about me also or even how she will walk right by and say hello in a sarcastic way.
I on the other hand don't let anything that she does bother me other than her continuing to come into OUR home to speak with her children and her ex when she could just call him to speak. She calls often to speak. She has even told my bf more than once that she has cancer when in fact she didn't. I know some of the things she does is because she "needs his help" or just wants his "attention".
PLEASE I need some advice as this is ruining my happy home.

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