How to prevent my almost 9 year old sleeping on the floor of my room every night?

Sara - posted on 11/01/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )




My daughter is having some fear/anxiety issues and refuses to sleep through the night in her own room. She always sneaks into my room and sleeps on the floor. This wakes us up and can't be good for her. She has something going on with her internal clock because she wakes up between 12:00 - 2:00 in the morning, every morning WITHOUT fail. I want to try positive reinforcement but she never listens and stays in her room so I can't ever reward her for trying. This has been going on for almost 3 months now and I'm tired fr getting 3-5 hours of sleep every night. I work full time and I'm worried that this is also affecting my daughter's school/studies. HELP!


Maureen - posted on 11/01/2011




My children have all come in our bedroom. We set up a blanket for them to lay on so they could come in and not disturb us. We would talk to the child the next morning to figure out why they came in. Sometimes they didn't realize they had. We would find out something had happened during the day and they just wanted to be close to us. My kids all love sleeping on the floor so we let them do it if they didn't wake us up. I would just keep trying to talk to her about school, her activities, her friends to see if she will tell you what really is bothering her. A lot of times my daughter didn't know how to put things into words until we were talking about random things. Good luck

Barbara - posted on 11/01/2011




Try taking her back in her room and lying with her for awhile until she falls back to sleep.

Denikka - posted on 11/01/2011




I totally agree with JuLeah. You could also try staying with her in her room. Since she's okay not sleeping directly next to you (touching etc) you could try just a cot or sleeping bag in her room. Slowly move it towards the door, say a foot or two each night, or when she's comfortable with the distance. Eventually, end up in the hall, then back in your room. It may take a couple of weeks, but if you've already put up with it for 3 months, I'm sure a couple more weeks is not going to tip the scales all that much. And with you in her room, she may sleep through and so everyone would get a better sleep :)

Good luck. It's always tough when something disturbs the regular sleep patterns.


Just saw that you mentioned the issue with home burglary. Is there any way to get an alarm system or something of that sort? Something to ease her fears? Maybe involve her in some sort of martial arts or self protection classes. Give her a sense of empowerment in being able to protect herself.

JuLeah - posted on 11/01/2011




What is going on with her? Something happened that caused this fear ....maybe now it is habbit, but something happened

Staying in her room all night is a step too big for her to make - break it down into steps she can manage

So, you figure out what she might need ... a night light, tape player with your voice singing her a song or telling her a story, a note maybe written by you reminding her she is safe and you are just down the hall ... whatever you all come up with

She might not be able to tell you what happened, but that doesn't mean nothing happened .... could have been anything that was big or small but got blown up in her mind to big

So, and this is just an idea of things to try, you have to adapt it to your lives

But, say she syas in her room until 2:30 as her first step ... reward her for that

When she is able to do that, extend the time but a half and hour, or 15 minutes ... don't punish her if she can't make it one night

Track it ....make a graph and let her see her progress


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Ebony - posted on 11/01/2011




M y daughter is 9 snd still comes in my room during the midfle of the night. I tried sleeping in her room on the floor. She always slept in her own room untill me and her stepdad seperated two years ago now she will cry herself to sleep if shes not in my bedroom or if im not in hers. She says shes just afraid to sleep alone.

Sara - posted on 11/01/2011




Those are great ideas, thank you! As some back up information, she has been sleeping in her own room for years and this is a new thing that she just started having a hard time with. The only thing that I can attribute these nightly visits to is that she said she saw something on TV before her dad could change the chanel about home burglary. She said she is now scared of someone coming into our house at night and hurting her or me.

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