How to protect my child from competing cousin

Prabina - posted on 07/15/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




My two and half years old boy has same aged cousin from his aunt (his father's sister). They visit us regularly (in average once in a month for few days). He is very happy to receive them but soon the two kids would be fighting (normal). However, the problem is the fight is almost all the time for my son's things toys, tricycles, books and colors etc. His cousin wants to play with all the his things and my son trying to claim the things are his. He is willing to share but the other boy comes straight and claim the things as his and start using I think that bothers my boy (that annoys me too). The other thing is when his cousin comes he (the cousin) gets all the attention from grandparents (who live with us) so that upset my son and he starts showing tantrums - becomes very stubborn, does not eat properly, cries a lot. Need advise to deal with the situation. Thanks


Ev - posted on 07/15/2014




Actually, these are normal behaviors for this age. Most kids at this age are in the "mine" mindset and it does not matter what toys are whose, if they want a particular one even one another child has, then they will go for it. It does not matter that they are cousins, friends, or not. I see this all the time. It is time to start having a bin for both boys to play from or get the same exact toys for them to be playing with so they do not have to fight over it. Its hard to share toys at this age. They do not yet understand the concepts. If you would work with both boys and the aunt on things and get them to share more often you could work this out so they could play with all the toys together.

As for the grandparents, they will give more attention to the grandchild they see less. That is to be expected to a point. Explain to them that it makes your son feel bad and see if they can try to find time to focus on both boys at once. Its hard to explain to a 2.5 year old that aspect of why the grandparents seem to be ignoring him. Give it time.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/15/2014




Well, a few things: If the cousins cannot play together, then have a few toys ready for each. When cousin starts in grabbing, redirect to 'his' toy bin. Rotate the toys regularly so that both children get equal opportunity to play.

The affection from the grandparents is hard to explain to a toddler, but you can start by saying "you get to see your grandparents EVERY DAY, and he only gets to see him when he's here, so please be patient and let him have a good visit".

These behaviours will hopefully be grown out of.


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Prabina - posted on 07/16/2014




Thanks Shawn and Evelyn. It's a relief to know these situations are normal and the kids are just showing their normal behavior. Your suggestions for having separate bins of similar toys sounds good, I am sure this will help us all in the next visits of the cousin. Thanks a lot both.

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