How to respond to grandparents/Inlaws after 9 yrs of no communication?

Lisa - posted on 05/27/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




2nd marriage for me and my husband. My Inlaws never got along with the ex wife until their Son left an abusive situation and divorced...then they became chummy. I suppose his parents wanted to be sure to be able to see the 2 children they had. We married about 2years later and they didn't show at the wedding. They briefly excepted me when we had our first child but would never be invited to holidays. We continued a passive relationship for about 6 years and then stopped over uninvited on Christmas Eve to see the ex wife enjoying herself with the family. His children were embarrassed. We wished everyone a happy holiday and argument. The next day when they usually bring gifts for our girls...the gifts never came and again we never said anything. Husband went about two months later to discuss the issues...he asked had we done something to them and his mom got irate screamed at him ran to the bedroom and locked the door. Husband told his dad that we are a package deal and he would hate to cut ties. After that day...nothing ever was talked about again. Fast forward nine two girls do not know these grandparents and were never thought of at Christmas or daughter will be graduating high school and suddenly MIL asked to be my friend on Facebook. I thought long and hard about this but agreed to have her as a friend...perhaps it was an accident while she was trying to see my page...anyhow after nine years of no Christmas/birthdays even acknowledged by them for my oldest just got a graduation card with money signed love grandma and grandpa. ???? Say what? Do you think she is rethinking now that her two grandchildren from previous marriage are now in college and don't come to see her regularly with the Ex wife? this absence has hurt my two girls so much and we have just tried over the years to explain to them that they were very upset about the 2nd marriage...and we felt to protect the girls by just moving forward. How do we respond now to this sudden interest in our lives and children?


Raye - posted on 05/27/2015




Expect the worst, hope for the best, and anything in between comes as no surprise. Your daughters can never have too much love, so allow them a relationship (if your girls are interested in having a relationship with them). Don't try to figure it out, cause you won't unless they decide to open up and explain. Just accept whatever kindness they show, give kindness back, and watch for the knife they may be hiding.

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