how to tell friends you don't want to exchange Christmas gifts with them.

Errin - posted on 12/07/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




So i have friends who i love and we always exchange Christmas gifts but since i started dating my boyfriend and had my daughter Christmas is just so expensive . this year my list is My Daughter, my mom, my dad, my brother , my grandparents, my boyfriend , his mom , his dad , his son , and then my close friends ,katie , steph , koral , patricia. now my boyfriend and I are also saving to buy our first home so were putting 1500 dollars a month into a savings account. i put 250 a pay and he puts 500. because he makes a lot more then i do . we dont live together so we both have rent and bills ontop of that, plus we each have a child. he has his half the time and i have my daughter full time with a night off every other weekend when she goes to her dads. anyways when i expressed to my friend I had to just do family and not friends this year she got upset I'd told her id make it work. I'm done my daughter , my boyfriends son , my boyfriends parents (thankyou shoppers drugmart points) my grandparents still have my boyfriend brother and parents, this would be less stressful without feeling obligated to have to exchange presents with my friends as well. someone have advice?


Ev - posted on 12/07/2014




Sometimes when things in life changes like having kids and finding a house to buy, other things need to take a back seat. What is so important about the gifts anyhow? Christmas should be about being together with the family and friends instead of the gifts. Your friends should more than understand that if you do not have it to do with, they should just be glad to come over and maybe hang out and watch movies and have a potluck dinner or snacks. If they are so caught up in material things, it makes me wonder how true a friend these friends are. If you have explained things to them about what your future plans are and all, they should understand. Presents in my family are not a priority. We do get together have a meal and enjoy each other but some of us do gifts for the rest because we can...its not required which this sounds like your friends are being.


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Ledia - posted on 12/07/2014




You have to decide which is more important to you--your friendships, or being a month closer to getting your house. If you skip only one house savings deposit, you would have enough to cover the four "non-family" gifts.

Instead of suggesting you forego on gifts all together, ask your friends if you can do smaller gifts this year, and suggest a spending limit--like no more than $50/person or something. You can still get a nice token of friendship for less than $50, you just have to put a little more thought into it. Skipping the one deposit will only set you back two weeks on your savings, and you will avoid drama and hurt feelings within your friendships. Furthermore, after the holidays when your finances have less demand on them, you could probably start putting a little extra in each week to make up for the missed $250, but even if you can't, you're only setting yourself back two weeks--that isn't going to matter in the long run, but losing your friends because you care more about keeping your cash for yourself than picking out a gift for them will.

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