How to tell son his stepdad is not his biological father

Regi - posted on 11/15/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




His biological father and I had already broken up when I found out I was pregnant, but I kept him in the loop throughout the process. When my son was born his bio father's parents were ecstatic. Since he lived with them, he saw my son every weekend when grams would insist on keeping him. Unfortunately, both of the bio father's parents passed away by the time my son was 2. Without their influence his bio father stopped seeing him. After 10 months he called me wanting to see our son. I agreed, but told him he wasn't going to be able to breeze in and out of my son's life. If he was going to be there, he needed to be there consistently. He agreed. By this point, my son had already forgotten him and after spending an hour with his bio father, he had never told him he was his father. He didn't call back for three months. I didn't answer, and he never called back again. It's been six years. When my son was six months old, I began dating a guy I had known for three years. My son is almost 9. My son calls him Potter, but refers to him as my dad when talking to friends. We have never tried to hide the fact the my fiancé is not his biological father, but we have never discussed it with him directly either. We are now engaged and have been discussing him adopting my son once we get married. How do we tell him that the only father figure he has ever truly known is not his bio father?


Ev - posted on 11/15/2015




You just have to set him down and tell him that you knew another man before your fiance and that he is the father that had visited him some and then went away. You tell him the truth. That does not mean that it takes from the man who has been dad to him since you met this man. But it does pose a problem about your fiance eventually adopting him after marriage. You would have to get the father to sign his rights away. ANd that takes court.

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