Husband says I'm a failure as a mom

Liz - posted on 10/24/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. We have two boys -- a 7-month-old and 3-year-old. Our 3-year-old, in particular, has a very stubborn personality and is very disobedient. He respects my husband because he usually spanks him for disobedience but he doesn't listen or respect me because I usually threaten him with punishment but many times I'm so busy with my 3-month-old or doing house chores that I let him get away with it. When he is really bad, I put him in time out. My husband thinks I should give him a warning when he misbehaves and always spank him when he fails to listen -- strong enough to sting. I have spanked our son several times and he eventually listens but I later end up feeling guilty. That being said, my son's constant disobedience is really hurting our relationship, as my husband and I always end up arguing. He says I'm a great "babysitter" because I do a great job at keeping my kids clean, keeping the house clean, feeding them, etc., but he says I'm a failure as a mom. He works in law enforcement so he worries our child can become a criminal if I don't correct him now. I work from home 30 hr a week, so he does stay with the boys alone twice a week, cooks and cleans, while I I concentrate on work. He says he's frustrated and gives our relationship no more than a year if I continue the same way. I love my children dearly and only want the best for them. I don't know what to do anymore.


Michelle - posted on 10/25/2013




I don't agree with him calling you a bad Mother but I do agree with him that you are letting your son getting away with things. You even admitted that you get too busy to follow through on your threats. All that teaches your son is that you will eventually let him have/do what he wants.
Next time yo have to punish him follow through with the threat you have given him. Who cares if not all the dishes have been done, they will still be there in an hour after you have dealt with your son. If you are busy with your 3 month old, don't give in, let your son knows he has to wait until you have finished with the baby. Let him know that if he doesn't let you finish then there will be a punishment. If he carries on make sure you follow through with that punishment after you have dealt with the baby.
I have 3 children and I know it can be hard when they all want your attention at the same time but they will soon learn that they get nicer attention if they behave.

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