I am a stepmother, and really having a difficult time

Godlovesme - posted on 04/21/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hey all, I am a stepmother and i really have a hard time with it. I am more of the discipliner,but at the same time show him plenty of love... and my husband is doing what he has to do now because before he was laid back. Now I have a difficult time just accepting the child as a whole. I guess I sound selfish but cant help it. Is even difficult getting into details about it.


Kathy - posted on 04/21/2016




I am a stepmom who has had difficulty with it as well. My step children had come to live with us. Their dad was not home much because of demands at work. So I was the main caregiver to them and my son. I was big on the whole treat everybody fairly, so I treated my step children the same way I treated my own son. The problem was that their dad had a different idea about what was acceptable behavior than I did. This created many problems. When I would discipline them by taking things away from them they would complain to their dad and he would give them their items back. He thought I was being too harsh on his children even though my own son received the same discipline for the same behaviors. It started to cause problems for my son because they were getting away with behaviors he was not. It caused problems with me because I started to feel as though my household was under his children's control and not mine. Eventually I stopped trying to discipline his children but expected him to do it in a way he found acceptable. Since he was not home much to see for himself what they were doing I would fill him in when he got home and this caused problems because he felt like I was comp!aiming about his kids all the time. It felt like an impossible situation. Eventually the kids became unhappy living with us in part because their dad was hardly home and they didn't spend a lot of time with him and in part because over time I became the enemy. It sounds selfish but I was happy when they went back to live with their mom.

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