I am divorced, a mom of a 16 year old girl who is very socially active. I have met a man who makes me happy. I am gradually working him into my life. when my daughter is gone I will spend time with him at his place, including sleepovers. I never leave her home alone overnight. We have talked about my new relationship and she was ok with it, but the last week after spending time with her Dad she now has a problem with my new relationship. When we had a family meeting the comment was made I am never home, wich is untrue. I work a fulltime job and clean three houses on the side, so my schedule is full so when my daughter isnt home i make plans to do things that make me happy. I make sure my bills are paid ,the house is clean , food on the table there for my daughter when she needs me so why is there a problem with my new relationship?

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Robin - posted on 03/30/2015

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Nicely put, Evelyn. You are so right on. I thought I was letting her deal with it on her own, but now I see I need to step it up a notch with her. She is a great kid I know she is dealing with a lot. I have realized that even though she looks like an adult she is still a little child who wants her Mommy, I am 41 and still have times where I need to talk to my Mom. The situation is unfortunate and something that is new to all of us. I told her we are in this together meaning her and I and her Dad , no one else. I am putting the brakes on my relationship with the bf. We will still see each other but in moderation. He is 100% supportive with this which means a lot to me. I never realized how deeply this divorce has affected her. We both have a lot to learn. Thanks for the wisdom.

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Kay - posted on 03/29/2015

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How long have you been divorced? If you are taking care of her needs I don't see why this is an issue. You've been seeing him 4 months... There's no crime in dating. Just keep communication open and reassure her that no matter what she is your priority.

Robin - posted on 03/29/2015

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We. Have been dating since November, but she just met him this month. I let her decide when she wanted to meet him. She has told me she is ok with our divorce and that it is for the best. Evelyn, I agree with you, I think she did have some hope of us getting back together. She still has times where she is angry with the both of us. We both just let her vent and get it out, then she is ok for a while. I understand she has a double whammy 1. being a teenage girl and 2. dealing with the divorce. I just have to remind myself to have extra patience.

Jackalope - posted on 03/28/2015

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Maybe her Dad said something to her about your new relationship. I'd ask her about it. And talk to her Dad about the whole thing, if he did say something.

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