I am having an issue with a stepmom

Jennifer - posted on 09/09/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




My girls are young teenagers and even though their father has been physically there while we were married for 13yrs he has never had anything to do with my girls. He did not allow them to sit and watch TV with us he simply always wanted them away from him. This was not a huge issue because all I did was be mom so with pageants dance basketball cheerleading and music lessons we were not home a lot before homework bath and bed. I always hid his motives from them so after the divorce they tried having a relationship with him but as I stated before he of course did not want it. Now that my girls have excepted the fact that he doesn't care if they are around or not. I have allowed them to decide when they want to go and when they don't. Now the stepmom is all over Facebook saying they are disrespectful to their dad. That I am abusive to them because they don't see him. they have blocked the stepmom the dad the grandmother and the stepbrothers but she is still getting on other peoples Facebook to post things to direct them at my girls they come tome asking what they should do I am at a lost on advice for them. It upsets them I can ignore it. They should not have to give up Facebook because of adults its so frustrating, when kids have to pay for adults behavior.


Melissa - posted on 09/09/2015




That really stinks. I hear ya! Unfortunately, you can't control the actions of others, but you can change your response to those actions. Maybe take a break from FB for a little while until the SM realizes she isn't affecting your girls? We are doing a break from FB at our house since it affects our moods without realizing it. Hope it all works out!

Raye - posted on 09/09/2015




Facebook can be so destructive in some people's lives, when used by petty people to force their own agenda. If you don't have court orders for the father's visitation with the kids, you may want to do so. That way, it's "fair" because you're following the orders and not just going on whim. The court should take into consideration the desires of the kids, and how much (if any) time they wish to spend with him, but they will most likely rule that he gets some time. If there's any way to prove that you tried to nurture a better relationship with the father and kids (texts or e-mails where you tried to allow visitation but he cancelled or said no), that will work in your favor.

I am a step-mom, and not all of us are evil. Some really try to do what's best for the kids. It sounds like your ex's woman is trying too hard to make herself look better, when all she's really doing is hurting the kids. It's very sad.


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