I am in a Verbally Abusive Relationship with an Infant at Home

L - posted on 11/16/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am a young mother with an abusive husband. I am currently living with my mother, my younger brother and my husband and year old son in a 2 bedroom apartment. I am currently taking 15 units a semester in college to eventually become a doctor and working an additional 12 hours a week just to make the 35 hours on my own needed to continue receiving benefits from welfare. My husband does not work because he has a very hard time finding a job with his background. He has been married before and has another child, but his ex took her away when she was a year and a half. Now I understand why.
We first began dating when I was 18 and he is 15 years older than me. In the first few months of dating, I went on a date with someone else because I was acting out because I felt like he was controlling everything about me- which he was. I know that I shouldn't have, but that's besides the point. My husband (then boyfriend) found out because he read my texts daily. Now, three years later, he still brings it up and holds it against me, even though during a good day he said he would stop because I was young and very stupid when it happened. When he gets mad he radiates anger and I hate to be around him. I do love him, but I am starting to hate him because of everything he does to me. I would rather that he would take out his anger and frustration out on me instead of our son, but he is mean to him as well. When I am gone during the mornings at school, he ignores our son because he sleeps in all day. If the baby yells because he wants to get out of the packandplay in the living room he will yell at him and tell him to shut up. Then when I get home I feed and play with him, yet his father wonders why his son doesn't want to be around him. I don't want to raise my son to be angry and hurtful like his father.
My husband always tells me that he is going to leave me someday without coming back, or that he will keep me from leaving because he will not let another child be taken away from him. He gets mad at me when I tell him to stop being mean to our son. A few weeks ago he was yelling at me for something stupid and I was crying, and the baby stood up between us and started yelling at his father. It was as if he was telling him to shut the f*** up because I wasn't.
I don't have the money to move out on my own and I don't think any of my family will help me- besides my mother who we are currently living with- because they didn't want me to marry him in the first place. I need to stay around the area because of school and such, but I don't want my husband to be homeless either. He has no friends and none of his family will help him either.
I need some advice on what to do. Thank you


Michelle - posted on 11/16/2013




You need to kick him out. You are living with your family and he has no right to treat anyone like that.
Don't worry about him being homeless, you need to look after yourself and your son. Read what you have written and imagine you are a stranger reading it. What advice would you offer? I bet it would be to get away from him, he doesn't deserve you.
You have even said you don't want your son to grow up to be like his Father, if you stay he will end up the same. You don't want your son to think that he has the right to treat women like that!!

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