I am losing my role as a mother....

Victoria - posted on 12/16/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am 23 years old. I work nights and sometimes days serving tables at a fine restaurant to pay for my son to go to a 5 star daycare. I also use this money to pay for my car and other life sustaining needs. I am in school full time for Physical Therapist Assistant. I am currently staying at home with my parents and other siblings. I have been doing so for over a year now. My 4 1/2 year old son and I have always had the best relationship. He has been a mommas boy and he listened to me and I always said I was so blessed to have such an amazing child. However, since I have started school and having to work so much in order to pay the bills I am hardly ever at home. I make a point to always take my son to school in the mornings. But, the mornings have gotten so hard since I started working so much and school. My son does not listen to me, he throws fits all morning long. I can see his lack of respect for me. I can see his respect for my parents. My son does not even look at me as a care giver anymore. On nights I have off he wants his grandmother to do things for me and will throw a fit if I try. My parents and I have always had a rocky relationship. Over this past year they have belittled me in front of my son because they did not agree with my parenting. I do think that this has something to do with it. However, I am certain that the biggest factor is me not being there. I feel guilty and I am making my self sick over the matter. The biggest reason for me to go to school and get my degree has now become the biggest reason for me not to do it. I love my son and I want what is best for him. But, I want to be his mother. I want to be the one putting him to bed at night. I just do not see how I can and support him and go to school. Anyone else in this situation? I was thinking of taking out loans? I would work much less. But I would also have debt. W


Sarah - posted on 12/16/2014




Ask yourself. When I am old and my kids are grown and off, will I look back and say "gosh i am so glad I worked all of those hours and never had to pay back a loan"? or will you say "If only I had spent more time with my children as they grew up"? You will get your degree and make a good salary as a PT assistant, You will also have years to pay back your student loans...You can never get back the days you are missing with your child. I was a full time nurse, I managed a 35 bed unit and I loved my job, but I missed so many things with my kids..first smiles, first steps, all to a nanny that loved them but I am their mom. I quit my job, stayed home and while we struggled financially, it was so worth it.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms