I am wonder if anyone can give me advice as my 3 year daughter will not poo on the toilet but in an nappy,so I have be refused to put nappy on her and now she is poo herself in her pant and will not do in the toilet ? ( but will happily go toilet to wee ) any advice would help


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Nica - posted on 11/23/2012




Hi, I had the same problem with my daughter. We started potty training when she was 2 and 1/2. she used the potty until she was 3. after that she started to use the toiled for a couple of months and then she refused the toilet. she went back on the potty until she was nearly 5. it drove me mad. I spoke to the doc about it but she said that it is normal at that age to be very fussy about nappies and toilets. I met at the time a mum that had your problem. she said that it took a long time for her daughter to accept the toilet. some children are like that. they need a long time before using the toilet. I tried every day. At the time I even considered a psychologist but was discouraged by other more experienced mums. When I ask her why she refused the toilet (now she is 11), she tells me she was scared of the big pipe. she was scared of the flashing etc. at least your one wee on the toilet, its a good start:-)

Ariana - posted on 11/23/2012




I would stop struggling with it. The more you push it the more it becomes her not pooing on principle. As annoying as it is give her the nappy when she has to go. Remind her to use the toilet, or possibly have her sit on a potty with the nappy on and then have her 'help' put the poo into the toilet where it's supposed to go (flush the toilet wash hands etc.).

Simply allow her to do it like that and say 'maybe sometime we can use the toilet' and remind her off all the other people she knows who use the toilet (that seemed to help a lot with my son). Just say, you know so-and-so goes on the potty (if it's an older girl she likes that helps a lot). Or, if possible, have an older girl she likes (maybe a counsin or something) who's able to poo on the potty bring her to the bathroom with her (if she's comfortable doing that.

Either way just encourage and don't make a big deal of it. If she ever does use the toilet give TONS of praise and if she doesn't be very blase about the whole thing, like it doesn't matter. Just like, oh, oh well, maybe we'll use the potty next time. Have her practice having her animals go on the potty too maybe.

Like I said, it sounds good on paper but I know how difficult it is to actually deal with, eventually she will decide she wants to poo on the toilet all by herself but for now take away the power struggle. Some kids go to the extreme of refuses to poo for days if it becomes to much of a control thing.

Good luck!

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