i can't get by with my inlaws

Lauren - posted on 04/12/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




my husband and i married for 8 years and involved for almost ten years. we were both married before. since day one they never accepted me and i was called lotsa bad names. it seems they blaming me for entering his first marriage which was not the case. Up until now my husband go mad if i dont go with him to his family gatherings and he is more worried what his family going to say. just the mere fact that his father want to confront me and telling me crap when i don't go to them. i dont feel myself and when they crap on me my husband is mad with me because i don't do as they say. now because they want to tell me it then make me more not wanting to go them. my husband is fine with my family and we don't go to my family so much i myself dont go to my family as much. i just can't deal with this anymore. then my husband want to tell me i wanna be the boss. i never had this in my previous marriage my mom did not even tell me. i mean i am not a child. and it as though my husband allow them to be like this with instead of standing up for me just like i stand up for him so many times. at times i feel i wanna get out of this marriage so that i dont need this in my life. i mean almost ten years later and it the same thing over and over again. why can't my husband just leave me to it and let me be who i am, i told him i did not marry him with his parents. i just don't feel myself with them....


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Michelle - posted on 04/12/2016




Hi Lauren,

You are definitely not alone in having in law/DH issues! Many of us (myself included) have struggled to find the common ground between demanding in laws and fearful/confused spouses!

My opinion is that your in laws are connected to your spouse forever, therefore a higher degree of respect and care ought to be placed on those relationships. However, clear boundaries must be made in order for your marriage to survive!

Please consider marriage counseling to try and get on the same page with your husband! Your relationship with him is too precious to continue allowing this breakdown to continue.

Prayers to you!

Raye - posted on 04/12/2016




Have you tried counseling?
If that doesn't work, or he won't go, then you have to decide if you really want to stay. At this point, without some kind of intervention such as counseling, none of them are likely to change. So you either accept it as it is, or go.

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