I can't get my daughter who is almost 2 to stop biting.

Kayla - posted on 05/09/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




I read not to bite back because it encourages them to bite more. I don't know what to do. What do ya'll suggest?


Kate CP - posted on 05/10/2011




You know, a child who is only 2 years old doesn't have the vocabulary to express themselves. So HURTING them to get a point across is, to me, kinda mean. THEY do it because they don't have the words to say "I'm angry/frustrated/tired/etc" but you're an adult and you DO have the vocabulary to express your feelings. When a toddler bites the best thing to do is say "OUCH! THAT HURT!" and don't be afraid to be loud and scary about it. Make an angry face, put the kid down, and fold your arms across your chest. Say "I don't like it when you bite! I will not hold you if you bite."

Take the time to observe your daughter and see what she does right BEFORE she bites. If you can pinpoint a moment when it looks like she's about to bite THAT'S when you jump on it as a teaching process. Say "STOP! You're ANGRY aren't you? Angry!" (or sleepy or frustrated or whatever emotion she may be trying to express). Show her HOW to be angry by balling your fists and making angry faces or stomping your feet and maybe screaming into a pillow. Anger is a healthy normal emotion that kids need to learn how to express in a constructive, not DESTRUCTIVE, way.

Biting back doesn't teach a child how to express themselves. It only teaches them that Mommy bites, too.

[deleted account]

I yelped...cried...rolled around in the floor and was a HUGE drama queen about it. Daddy or Aunt Sandy would 'fuss' at him...and tell him that he hurt Mama..and should go say you are sorry. It always ended with my son running into my arms and trying to 'console' me.
That crap HURTS and I LET HIM KNOW IT! I may have been overdramatic about it...but that's what it takes to get through.

Kelly - posted on 05/09/2011




Don't bite them back! Bad advice. You know my Pediatrician was a little relaxed with this whole behavior because it will go away. It usually just riles the moms whose kid is on the receiving end. One of mine bit a few times and then it ended with with some teaching/training plus an increase in verbal skills. It tends to happen more with kids who are less verbal or young enough to not have developed much of a vocabulary yet. Mine did it in anger a couple of times because something happened to make him mad. A toy was taken away by another child and a cousin maybe 5-6 years older kept trying to pick him up and haul him around by his armpits. When they can't say what they want they lash out in another manner. Makes sense right? Mine also gave a bear hug from behind once and a love bite on the shoulder too. He just did that big hug and squeeze and beared down with his teeth. Adults do it too only they might clench down with their teeth not on another : ) Anyways to help them learn stop the behavior as you see it "no bite". Intervene on their behalf like retrun a stolen toy or stop the other child from whatever he was doing. Teach them to use words even if it is only "no" or a "____'s turn" to use the toy. You can begin to say to her "use your words". Prasie her when she does. Help her words be successful by stepping in if necessary so she she's they work. If she is biting and she is the bully. Lets say she stole the toy and the bit the kid when they tried to take it back then use a little time out stool. She sits there for 1 min. for each year. so 2 mins is plenty. Use simple words to set the rules so she can correct her bahavior.


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Joanna - posted on 05/10/2011




My 3rd child bit his older brother constantly for no reason. He only bit him. I tried telling him no, I put him in "time out", I tried pinching his thigh, I tried everything. When he started breaking skin and not responding to any punishments, I bit back. It took 2 bites and he figured it out. If he bit, he got bit. Never did it again. A few month ago my little one started (around 16 months), but I was his target. He would laugh at me when I would punish him. The only thing that seems to work for him is to pinch him on the inner thigh or under the arm just below the arm pit. I have not been bit for about a month.
You need to do what works.

Michelle - posted on 05/09/2011




does she bite only in frustration or at "any" time? She may have a vitamin deficiency or parasite if shes biting at any time vs frustration. Just wanted to offer that idea/ suggestion for consideration.

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