I didnt know that im his OTHER WOMAN and we have a baby

Joyce - posted on 04/16/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )




3 years ago i meet this man online, we both worked overseas, we live in different country. We talked for almost a 6 months, and in that six months everyday was so great. We skype 3-4 times a day, chat whole day. Everything was perfect. I asked all about him, he said he was single, never married and no kids. I dont believed him at first coz honestly it was just so hard for me to trust.
After that we dicided to meet, he come and visit the country where i worked, every 3 months he would spend his vacation with me, and during our time together, i havent seen him holding his phone, he even letting me to use it sometimes, he was so great i feel so loved when were together.
Then oneday i found out i was pregnant, i told him the news, but instead of being happy, he asked me if he is the real father of the baby. Its so painful coz he knows that ive never been with a man for 2 years until he came. And then he asked me to abort out baby coz he said he wasnt ready yet, that he never gone to that kind of situation that it was all new. I told him Ill continue my pregancy with or without him. He called me after 3 months and say that he wants the baby, he wants us to be a family so i fogive him.
I was on my 8th months of pregancy and were buying stuff for the baby. I was shocked coz he knows everything that we should take, even which formula is good for the baby. Then i asked him if hes hidding something from me, there he told me that he have 3 boys, that h didnt say it coz he knows that if he told me about them i would leave him not even talk to him, i was so devastated. I thot im going imsane, i asked him if hes married, he said in that part he never lied to me, he never married and already separated for 4 years.
He never supported me in anyway till he saw his DAUGHTER, he have a daughter with me and 3 boys with his x. Once she was born everything was ok, hes coming to us, living with us during his vacatio, after 1 years of being ok, he was acting strange, he start treting me like im nothing, barely text me., call me names, and then on his 2 vacation he really did the unthinkable , we went on vacation the 3 of us, he left during the midnight and told me that he needs to have a drink, but i found out that he rented another room at the hotel where we at and slept with another girl, the second vacation was he hide his date of arrival from me and gone to another place to meet his chatmate. I saw his skype open and something told me to read and yah i saw everything (iknowits wrong to touch his personal stuff)
And now after 3 years of being a partner, he somehow lost his job, and he needs to go back to states, since he came there he never called, he never gave me his new info, he would blocked and ublocked me in his whatsaap. Then on time he send me a picture of him in his house, i saw the same excact interior where his x had a picture last easter, yah i know his x, and i sometimes checking her profile too which he didnt know. Same couch. Same paintings, same bases everything is same. So i finally confirm that he and his what so called x is still living together,
I told him about it, i told him that even tho i love him so much, i have to do the right thing, i have to leave him coz i cant ruin a family. It was so painful, like i cant breath whenever i cried, i even thot of dying, but i have a daughter to take care off and she needs me.
Finally he send me an email saying that i was thinking wrong, that shes married and have her own life, that they dont talk unless its about kids, that he dont live with her, but i feel that he was just lying, he said he loves me, and he owns me.
Part of me was happy coz now i can see that he also doesnt wanna lose me and his only daughter but that cant change the fact that im a mistress, he make me his mistress, that he doesnt give me a choice if i wanna be one or not, thay he fooled me,
till now, he still saying he loves me, he still doesnt wann admit that hes wtill with her, but he never called me, he barely sent a message,
It hurts and i dont know what to do to be honest, i cant tell my family about it coz i know it will hurt them, im trying to face it alone. But its just so painful that the person that i loved the most lied to me, decieved me. And the most painful part is i have a daughter who would suffer,
I may add that hes 13 years older than me. Hes 41 and im 27.


View replies by

Tracy - posted on 04/19/2016




I agree with the others. File for the court, legal stuff. But also, you should turn to your parents. Explain everything and everything should hopefully be fine. If your parents are there for you now, they'll probably be great moral support for you. Sometimes everything may get a bit hard for you and make you wanna break down and cry. They'll be there to cry with you and help you stand back up.

Dove - posted on 04/17/2016




Agree w/ both of these ladies. You deserve better than him. He's a liar and a cheater and not someone you want in a relationship w/ you.

Get court orders for custody, visitation, and child support... and let everything else about him go. It will take time, but you CAN heal from this.

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2016




Yikes, you deserve better. You knew in your heart all along something was not right. Trust yourself, kick him to the curb, file for child support.

Ev - posted on 04/16/2016




If I were you I would stop putting myself in this place and seek out custody, visitation, and child support where you live. He does not own you and you are not bound to him in any legal way. A mistress is just that. She is there to provide the man pleasure at his beck and call. He can not make you do anything you do not want to do. And he is a liar too. He tells you so many things. That to me is not a man that loves a woman like he claims.

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