I don't know if this is considered abuse. A little help?

Jen - posted on 05/15/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I'm a very confused, stressed mom of a healthy 6-month old baby boy. I'm happy with being a mom but there always comes a point that someone ruins it big time - my boyfriend and my baby's father.

I remember we planned to get married but it didn't push through because of some issues - and thank God it didn't. The only thing I have to worry about is I still live with him.

He's good when he's happy but he's monstrous when he's angry. There have been many occasions on which he's laid his hands on me, not like punching on the face, he's more into pushing, kicking, pulling my hair. It's always hard to tell family and friends that he sometimes hurts me.

We have been together four years but started to live together two years ago.

Nowadays has been painful for me, physically and emotionally. A couple of months ago, he punched me on the back of my head. We were having a rough time with the finances and all, especially with our newborn son at that time.

It was just because I said something he didn't like, very shallow, really - like "you don't need to write that down because there's already the receipt that says all the information". So he just snapped and pushed me off the bed and shouted at me. It made me really mad so I pushed him, too, but knowing how really weak I am compared to his strength, this didn't even hurt him so I was really surprised when he suddenly punched me in the back of my head. It really hurt. It was terrible. I was about to go to work at that time but I couldn't leave because it still hurt and I was emotionally torn to pieces.

Just recently, our baby fell from the bed and it was my fault because I fell asleep. It was just so quick. I remember I was holding him and then the next thing, I just heard him crying. I felt so terrible and confused, how could that happen so fast. I couldn't believe I fell asleep. I was so angry at myself. But the next thing I knew, he came and started screaming, saying, 'why I was trying to kill our baby', about how selfish I am because I didn't care. He also hit me in the head, I don't even know how many times he did. I just woke up and felt confused - I swear I even had that feeling that it was just a dream. I remember him hitting and pushing and hitting like he wanted to bury my head on the bed. Then he kicked me on the leg and on the back I almost fell off the bed.

I didn't do anything. I just accepted all of it because I knew it was my fault. I felt so bad my baby fell that I just didn't care if he treated me like I'm not part of his family. We went to the doctor and I felt relieved there's nothing wrong with my son.

But now that I'm all by myself, I couldn't stop crying. I feel so disrespected, so little and worthless. What makes this more unbearable is because I have nowhere to go. I always think of leaving him but I don't even have savings. The money I got from work is paid for the rent. We divide the bills. He earns more than I do and the rent is pretty costly so there's nothing left from my earnings.

My family is as helpless as I am. As of now, they're even waiting for me to send them money. I don't have friends I could go to. The closest ones have already moved in other countries. I don't know. I guess this is the only I could turn to. I guess I just have to endure a little more until I can save a little and can start building a new life without him.

And he's been calling my stupid nowadays every time he's around I feel nervous doing stuff afraid to make mistakes. It's just sad, hurting.. I dunno.. :-(


View replies by

Amy - posted on 05/15/2013




Yes that's abuse not only emotional but physical too! And it's escalating!!!! He went from never hitting to now hitting you multiple times, the way you describe it to the point of being unconscious! Get out, go to the nearest women's, the next time he abuses you call the police have him arrested. You have to do this for your children if you don't think you're able to do it for yourself.

Amber - posted on 05/15/2013




going to be hard but go to a woman's shelter....they will help you !!!! apply for emergency assistance for apartment and get a restraining order on him...he will soon start hitting your child. I am living with a stalker and on waiting list for apartment and slowly planing our escape.He has made you his toy and deep down you need get the strength to leave for your child and yourself. you will live a sad depressed life if you stay with him hun....if you leave you will feel proud and determined to be the best mom and woman you can be :)

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