I found something helpful for ladies desperate to change an abusive man rather than leave him.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/12/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




As you all may know by my posts, I am suffering in a mentally abusive relationship and always being the one who is blamed for the treatment I get. I always hear "I had to do that because you were scaring the baby by yelling in front of her at me and she can't defend herself." Well guess what buddy, you started it and I am just a woman and my only defense is getting the hell away from you. We all yell right? Not always good for kids, but it's a reality, it's occasional, it is in my own defense and it happened like twice and I'm not willing to let it happen again.

... Okay ladies... when it's just these little upsetting mentally abusive situations where he is really legitimately angry about something but just expressing it the wrong way, should I really leave him or should I work with on the behavior because I truly love him.

I thought about it great depth this morning from about 4 am to 6 am because I had nightmares about leaving him and wanting him back so much and seeing him treat another woman so much better than he ever treated me because she wasn't making him mad. Then I woke up and was a little sick to my stomach, went back to sleep and felt much more at ease having dreams about being so in love with him. I love him and I swear that God wants me to work on this. I feel like there is a deeper connection with his anger problem than he is letting on and I just want to find it and treat it or get him some help.

anyway... here is the link http://xene.wordpress.com/2009/05/19/13-...

Argue with this all you want ladies, but here is the thing, we all fall in love for a reason and it can be really hard to fall out of love. I am not advocating such as this, as I already left an abusive relationship when I decided to go through my entire pregnancy on my own and raise my daughter on my own. I can tell when people are willing to change and they are not willing to, I can tell when guilt is starting to inspire that change. I have seen it within members of my own family and I do not want to give up on this man, because I love him and have faith in his ability to get better. I have talked to a very good counselor and he told me there is a way to take the upper hand in this situation and save thing, and then if not I can always leave and I need to confidence that leaving is always an option. I do have that confidence and it has really given me more power in this.


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