I have 11 year old son he thanks he can raise his voice at me I spank him it does not work I make him write sentence saying I will not raised my voice help


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Dove - posted on 12/29/2012




Why are you trying to spank an 11 year old?

Do you cook for him? Do his laundry? Does he have any electronic toys, a phone, or computer access?

If he can't talk to you respectfully then he doesn't need any of that until he can. Though I wouldn't punish a child (especially a preteen) JUST for raising his voice. 11 years old is a hormonally crazy time that does need to be approached w/ firm guidelines, but also w/ some patience and understanding. Preteens are basically smarter, older, bigger toddlers. The discipline methods are different, but the patience and understanding needs to be the same.

If he's trying to tell you something, but just too upset to do it in a normal conversation... some time alone in his room until he can speak calmly and rationally may be all that is needed.

Sam - posted on 12/29/2012




to start with spanking doesnt work as you know! what you need to do is, stop. take a step back, and think why is he shouting... what happened before he shouted, to trigger it?! did you shout first? has he been punished for something he didnt do? has he had enough of your attention? are you actually listening to what hes saying? maybe somethings bothering him at school? or is he in a pre teen mood?

when youve figured that out then it all becomes so much clearer. what is YOUR reaction when he shouts at you? do you shout back at him? using step one this will allow you to clearly think of how you should reply to him and what you should say! if you shouted at him first say calmly look i shouldnt have shouted lets sit and talk like grown ups, if its because you havent listened or he hasnt had enough of your time say shouting isnt going to make me hear you any clearer again sit down and talk. if hes in a mood for no reason and just wants to shout its so much easier to try and make them laugh! my son is 4 and has a right temper on him when he gets mad i literally hang him upside down by his feet and he cant help but laugh! obviously your son is probably too big for that but im sure you know of something to make him lol!

and dont forget your his mum not his teacher at school, writing lines wont work! x

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