i have just recently got married 2wks ago and now my husbands ex as turned up demanding he meets his daughter who he as never met befire or had any sort of contact with she is 12yrs of age it as totally blown my world apart we also have a 3yr old son how do i cope


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Rachel - posted on 07/22/2011




Deffinately get a DNA test before he does anything else. So that he knows for sure that this child is his. If she is then he needs to try to get to know this child and find out why the mother never told him about her. Good luck

[deleted account]

Totally agree! DNA testing first before anything else! It is possible that the daughter is his - but he needs to make 100% sure first!
I don't know how to help you with coping advice. If it turns out that the 12yo is his daughter, be supportive of him and encourage him to get to know her as his daughter and build a relationship. If this lady is just being jealous that he is now married and happy, it will be a difficult road to travel - the best thing to do is stay positive and ask questions! All of us that are Biological Moms (BM) and Step Moms (SM) can help you out along the journey that you are possibly facing! Keep us posted and do ask whatever you feel you and your DH (darling husband) need advice on! Also, finding an attorney is a good idea - even if it is just for a consult at this point in time! Much luck to you and DH! :)

Amanda - posted on 07/22/2011




Yes, What was she doing for 12 years? Is she asking for money? Definately get a dna test. My husband has 2 kids with a prewvious wife and 1 kid with one before that. Its not easy, especially financially. He does need to be a dad to the girl (if it's his) after all it's not her fault her mothers an ass. Just take a deep breath, and face this head on. She's not going anywhere probably but you need to stay in charge.

Tara - posted on 07/21/2011




I agree with Brianna - why has it taken 12 years for this woman to show up? If she wanted him in her daughter's life then I would think she would have contacted him as soon as she had her. I would suggest a DNA paternity test to ensure that the girl is his. If the paternity test shows he is the father then he should arrange to meet with a lawyer to discuss the terms of visitation, etc. If the test shows he is not the father, he may want to visit a lawyer to keep this woman out of your lives. Also, I don't see anywhere in your post anything that says that the girl herself wants to meet him? The girl's feelings on this should also be taken into account as she has probably been just as blindsided by her mother doing this as you are.

Brianna - posted on 07/21/2011




i would make him get a dna test first of all. did u know that this daughter existed? as long as she really is his daughter he needs to man up and meet her after all shes his daughter and its important that she has her dad in her life. also why is it that its taken 12 years for this woman to show up?

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