I have my step kids full time, I am lost what should I do?

Amber - posted on 10/06/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am 25, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years..... I went from being a young single 23 year old with no responsibilities to (overnight) a 30 year old man with soooo much baggage (a crazy ex wife and ex girlfriend). He has 2 little girls (10 and 9), a dog and 2 cats that I am severely allergic to (I am sick everyday because of these animals). We have lived together for a year now but his 2 children walk all over me and disrespect me 24/7. There is not a day that goes by where I do not fight with them constantly or cry because of how they treat me. My boyfriend travels for his job so he is away 35% of the month so that leaves me as basically a single mom of two kids (that are not even technically mine) because the BIO mom is not involved. My boyfriend is awesome and the greatest man I know and the most wonderful man I have ever met. I have been in really bad relationships and he is perfect. I have talked to him about the issue with his children many times and although he is on my side and has tried everything he could, there has been no change when I am left alone with them.. I gave up my life and youth for this man and his children but I am reaching my breaking point..... What should I do? Leave him or try harder? I am lost because I cannot discipline them with spankings (that is all they respect). What do I do? A good man is hard to find but is it worth all this? I do everything for them, what is a girl to do?

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Lacye - posted on 10/06/2012

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Couple questions:



1. Does your boyfriend know that you are allergic to the animals? If he does, what has he done to prevent you from having an allergy attack?



2. Does he support you in all disciplinary actions or does he get mad when you get onto them?



If you really want to make this work, you are going to have to deal with the kids. They are a part of him and he's going to let you go faster than he will them. I understand where you are coming from. I have a stepdaughter who has a crazy mother (although this BM is still involved and SD doesn't live with us, yet).



I'll be able to give you more advice once I know what the answers to the questions are. Especially the second question.

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