I just had a miscarage at 14 weeks gestation

Sugargirlcountrygal - posted on 01/22/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




I am taking it really hard been really anxious and depressed I am a year recovered from anorexia and extremely worried about relapse I have a 4 year old daughter and i have been detached to everything around me I am really taking it hard it has only been a week since the loss any advise.


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User - posted on 04/26/2012




Hi Ashley,

I am sorry you are hurting. I have lost a few babies as well. My last pregnancy was the hardest on me and my family. We had names picked out, we has started buying pink stuff and registered for everything we could find with ruffles! In fact the day we went to register, we went out to eat at Bob Evans and something just didn't feel right to me, I didn't feel good. I went to the rest room and I was spotting, I nearly passed out. I stumbled out in tears holding my belly and trying to find my husband.

We went to the ER that was nearest to us. I had stopped bleeding by the time we got there, but the doctor still said "oh you are probably having a miscarriage" like it was no big deal at all. I was crying and sobbing pretty uncontrollably, he left after looking at me pretty meanly and ordered a sonogram. The tech would not let me see the sonogram, I asked several times, I asked my husband if he could see her heart beat, he thought he could. We went back to the room with hope. The doctor then came in and said there is no heart beat, when I questioned him and why the tech would not let me see, he meanly said "theres no heart beep and the babys not grown since the same months, its not the same months that you said you are."

I cried more and felt so numb and sick. I think everything in the world became part of a far distance and I was on another plane entirely. It took two weeks of crying being angry, going through the DNC and having my pastor come to the house to reassure me it's ok to grieve before I even wanted to see my other children.

No one told me then what I am telling you now, IT"S NOT YOUR FAULT. There's nothing you can do to prevent these things from happening and although you love and loved that life that was inside you, something was wrong and he or she could not make it in our world with us and our bodies are designed to do the math.

No one mentioned to me that this was actually now normal: nearly 50% of all pregnancy in the US ends in miscarriage due to Chromosomal abnormalities. It's far more common then anyone realizes. That doesn't mean that our emotional and physical attachments won't hurt when they leave us, it just means that it isn't our faults. There have been studies done on why this rate is SO HIGH now and it's tracing back to GMO foods modifying the chromosomes of the fetus in the womb.

Let yourself heal and accept that it's NOT your fault. Find a counselor to help you deal with the temptation of going back to anorexia and the loss, because that definitely won't help you to heal and be healthy enough when you want to try again.

What is your favorite thing to do with your daughter? What's her favorite thing to do? Think about those things and try some new ones and love yourself ♥

Kaitlin - posted on 01/22/2012




go to your doctor. Go to your local hospital support groups. Go to mothers groups. Force yourself to be among other people who are in a similar situtaion. Do not try to fight and deal with this alone. You are not alone. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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