I just joined this site and I need some advice from other moms regarding my 5 yr old with ADHD/ODD and behavior problems.

Kristin - posted on 09/01/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hello, my name is Kristin and this is my second day on circle of moms. I apologize for the lengthy post, but I just joined this site with hope to speak with other moms who may have had similar experiences as I. My 5 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD/ODD/Behavior problems I am a 25 year old mom of one. I came across this site while searching for advice from other moms who have a young child with adhd/odd. My daughter recently turned 5 years old two weeks ago and I have come to the realization that her behavior is no longer a "phase" that she may grow out of one day. Due to the loss of my husband (her daddy) in 2009, I starting working full time between 48 to 60 hours per week in order to make ends meet. His death was very unexpected and we had no life insurance. That was very hard on both of us to cope without him. She was still quite young at 18 months old but knew that he was no longer there. With grievance and depression issues, I had maintained working all the time to pay my bills. It really took a toll on me. I worked 6 days a week. 9:00am-9:00pm three days out of the week and the other three days was from 9:00am-6:00pm-or-12:00pm-9:00pm. It really sucked for both of us...Every morning I would get up, feed her, get her dressed, take her to daycare, go to work all day, get off work, pick her up, and basically have to put her to bed as soon as we got home. I never had any time to spend with her with the exception of my day off. She started having defiance issues at daycare shortly after she turned 4. At first the complaints were made involving other children, then it developed into defiance toward the teachers and authority figures. I was called to come pick her up early on several occasions due to her aggression toward other children and attitude toward her teacher; refusing to listen and follow simple instructions. She was very defiant and disrespectful at home and in public towards me. I felt like I had failed as a parent due to my ridiculous work schedule. I really enjoyed my job of three years (especially my customers), but hated my boss and all of the hours. He was an asshole and just had enough! I told him that I have missed almost 3 years of seeing my little girl grow up and that I'm not going to miss another moment. So I told him to kiss my ass and have a good day. I wasted 3 years of our life working at a major automotive dealership. I just wanted to spend time with my little girl before she started school the following year. I believe that the sudden change employment made a difference also. She was definitely enjoying the 'mommy time' and so was I. I cherish every minute that I have to spend with her. Her behavior progressively worsened over a period of time. When I would have company over (rare occasion), she would do anything and everything to acquire attention from anybody that would notice. She would start talking loud and climbing on things. When I asked her to stop, she would continue to do so. Then when I raised my voice to tell her to stop, she would fold her arms, tell me "NO" and then look toward the company and then me just to see what their reaction was. That just set me off because she was deliberately defying what I had at first asked her to do, then what I had told her to do. How am I supposed to discipline my child when she behaves like this?? I have tried putting her in the corner, spanking her, talking to her, taking away her toys and giving her the opportunity to 'earn' them back. Other times (quite frequently) she will abuse and be mean to our cat. Picking him up, squeezing him, spinning him around in circles. This happened more often when I wasn't present or in the same room as her. Sometimes I would 'sneak up' to find her hitting the cat while nobody was around. After repeatedly describing her behavior to her physician, she recommended taking her to Centerstone to be evaluated for a behavior disorder. Therefore, I scheduled the soonest available appointment...7-11-12...we were really pressed for time since it was 3 weeks before she started Kindergarten. They prescribed her Adderral (5 mg) for 2 weeks and behavior therapy. When we went in for the follow up on 7-25-12, they increased her dosage to 10 mg. I noticed a change in her behavior with in a week. She started school on 8-1-12 and everything seemed to be going okay. The teacher said that she starts out pretty good in the mornings but thinks that the medication starts to wear off by the end of the school day. She is still having some issues at home with following directions and continues to be aggressive towards our cat. Her behavior has improved and is not as severe as it was before the adderral. Her prescription ended and needed to be refilled by 8-24-12...unfortunately, centerstone couldn't refill it over the phone and the only person there with authority to do so won't be available until 9-5-12. That weekend was a disaster! She was the same, if not worse, that she was prior to any treatment. I called her physician on Friday and they squeezed us in for a Monday morning appointment. The doctor changed her prescription to 18 mg Concerta?! She has had very bad behavior at school all week! Her teacher called today to tell me that she was very disruptive, failed to follow instructions, would not participate in group activity, told her "NO" on several occasions, and was not at all like she was the last 3 weeks. She said that it was like 'day and night' from what she was when she first started school. I immediately called the doctor's office and told her what was going on. She then told me to double her prescription of Concerta to 36 mg. She started the double dose on Friday morning. I just hope for the best and hope that it will be effective throughout the weekend. So far, she is doing better with the concerta double dose than the single dose, but doesn't at all compare to how good she did on Adderral. The doctor said to let her try it out until Monday and hope to see some positive changes in behavior. If not, they will have to change it back to the Adderral without a doubt in my mind. In conclusion to all of this, is there any one out there who has had any similar dealings with a child coming off of adderral and placed onto concerta? Is there anybody out there who has had similar experiences that can provide some good advice relating to my situation? Any other opinions on this seemingly-endless post? I will look forward to hearing from some fellow moms. Thank you...


Christina - posted on 09/01/2012




Hi. I'm going to share my story just so you know you're not alone! I'm a 27 year old mother to a 7 year old boy w/ADHD & ODD behavioral issues. Although the neuropsychologist did not formally diagnose him w/anything... the symptoms are all present. Like you, I thought it was parenting related issues- being a young parent, working a lot, having a disruptive life (we moved a lot- change of environment, schools, etc.). Although his father and I are still together, we work such opposite schedules that we rarely have time to be a family. The birth of his sister 2 years ago is what really put him over the edge though and that's when we started noticing more and more issues. Not just at home, but at school, at church, w/grandparents, the baby sitter, etc. Things just went from bad to horrible. So bad in fact that he got kicked out of private school in 1st grade! Luckily for us, that ended up being a good thing b/c we moved to a new house in a great school district that has just been wonderful w/working w/us. Anyways, he's not necessarily "violent", but he's aggressive and will sometimes do things that cause harm to himself or others b/c he doesn't think through to the possible outcomes. He's street smart, but lacks common sense (safety issues & personal hygiene to be more specific). His IQ only tested slightly above average, but I swear he tries to out smart me all the time. Fortunately he is on grade level for everything despite his inattentive issues, but it took a lot to get him there and keep him there (inclusion class, extra help, resource room, social skills counseling, etc.) Now that 2nd grade is approaching he will be in a regular classroom, but still have all the extras available if needed. He can be defiant and oppositional to the point where he'll look right at you while you're talking and do the exact opposite of what you're telling him or asking him. It sometimes takes numerous times of repeating the same things over and over again before it's accomplished. He's usually always running around, jumping, climbing, stomping, making loud noises... anything to get attention and make everyone know his presence. He doesn't have many friends and he prefers to play with kids either younger or older than him. I found that keeping him busy helped tame a lot of his behaviors... camp, sports, religion, play dates, trips to the library, the beach, the park, etc. When he is forced to stay focus he does really well. It's almost as if his body is in over-drive ALL the time and it constantly has to be stimulated. The second he gets bored, all hell breaks lose. For me, I am against medicating my child, especially this young. I've decided to stick more towards the holistic side of it - finding a behavioral plan and sticking to it! Changing diets, trying alternative therapies, supplementing with vitamins, being an advocate for your child... all things that I believe will make a permanent difference - not just give a temporary relief. I've seen a dramatic improvement in my own child just by cutting out artificial food coloring from his diet and doing BrainCore Therapy with him. With anything in life... you're only going to get out of it, what you put into it. I've tried everything (besides meds lol). Somethings worked. Somethings did not. You know your child best and all you can do is keep an open mind, stay strong, and never give up hope. Like most parents dealing w/difficult children, we all hope it's "just a phase" until reality hits and we realize THIS IS MY CHILD AND I WILL THEM NO MATTER WHAT! :) Best wishes ♥

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