I live with my mom and son but I feel like I should move out. Is this a good or bad idea?

Eli - posted on 11/16/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I live with my mom and toddler son. She watches him while I go to school, I'm 20 years old. I've lived with her since I got pregnant and I love her and everything she's done for me, I've got no complaints that way. I want to move out. She's been really good to me but it's just that I feel like I'm 16 or something. It's just awkward. She goes in my room, wants to know when/where I'm going and I can't avoid it because either I ask her to babysit or she just bugs me even if I'm bringing him with me.

It's like being a teenager living at home. The thing is I pay for half of everything, I'm not a freeloader. I pay half the rent/utilities/food/internet. I pay for my own insurance and gas and my sons things. My mom wants things to be her way or the highway, I always feel judged if I make a mistake in anything. It's like living with someone staring at you and judging you constantly. She doesn't always follow my parenting choices and she is also super judgemental about that. If I ever do anything she thinks is not great for my son she will be very disapproving and lay the guilt on. She does not give me personal space or boundaries, she thinks my life is for her to know everything about and judge.

Like I said though, she's been great to me, she helped me out so much, she's (in general) very good with my son and loves him dearly. It's financially easier to live with her and I worry what will happen if I move. I don't think she can afford to live where we moved without me here and I worry about where she would live.

Should I live her because it's easier financially for me? Do I leave because I feel my growth is being stunted? I feel like a teenager and I want some freedom. I've wanted this for a while now and I just can't shake it.

My mother can also be very controlling and I feel nervous even thinking about bringing it up. I don't want her to freak out at me and I don't want to ruin our relationship. I feel pretty close to her I just don't want to be treated like a child all the time. I don't really know what the right thing to do is.

Sometimes I feel like it's a good idea to just stay here and other times I want to move out TOMORROW ha. Which option looks better? If I moved out I'd plan to do it for next year, should I try to save more money for it? Any advice would be awesome.


1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms