I'm afraid my son will kill himself...

Ruth - posted on 05/21/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




My son was assaulted by a gang of kids when he was 16. Ever since then he has been impossible. He is involved with marijuana. He is an alcoholic. And, when he's high, he's a horrible person, but when he's not, he's the sweetest young man in the world. He tried to kill himself once (2 weeks in ICU) and took an accidental overdose another time. He's had someone point a gun at him and that took its toll on him also.

He was diagnosed with ADHD and these events caused PTSD. His father won't speak to him, his only grandparent doesn't speak with him. His siblings won't talk to him because he has insulted them when he was drunk. He was recently assaulted by a neighbor in my yard and fears leaving the house.

He has no job, no car and no money because of two DUI's over 6 years ago. He wants to live a normal life. He wants family, but I am the only one who speaks with him. He's tried apologizing to his siblings, but they are angry at his hurtful words when he was drunk. He lives in my house and I pay all of the bills.

We are suing the man who assaulted him in my yard 2 years ago. Court is in November, but I am running out of money supporting him. I have no savings left. My new mortgage takes effect next month and it's higher than what I currently pay. I need help - resources. Something. Anything. The psychologist told me he would be at least 25 before his frontal lobe receptors started working. I lost my mom to alcohol 34 years ago. My sister is a functioning alcoholic. I have an older brother who's an alcoholic and bi-polar. My son acknowledges he is an alcoholic. But, in Virginia there is no help for males without insurance.

Does anyone know of any resources for someone with a criminal background to get help? He's truly a genuine good guy when he's not drinking (which is most of the time). He just needs guidance - direction. He hates his current life but seems polarized and doesn't know how to get help. I work shift work, so I am unable to do but so much. And, I need a life other than my 28 year old son.

I couldn't live with the guilt if anything happened to him, but I can't live like this. Are there any resources? Thank you.


View replies by

Sarah - posted on 05/21/2016




Time to make one final offer; treatment and sobriety or the street. Offer him a ride and to store his stuff. Here is a link to treatment centers in VA:


And here is a site with tips for how to get treatment if you have no insurance or savings.


People who want to get clean, will go to any length to achieve it, if that means moving to another state then he will either go, or probably die. Here is a link to free centers all over the country:

Michelle - posted on 05/21/2016




There comes a point that we have to step back as parents and let them makes their own choices with consequences.
You have already said that he has bled you dry! I know he is your son and has problems but he needs to be an adult and get help for himself. You keep enabling his behaviour because all you have done is made excuses as to why you have to pay for everything.
He's 28 and should have been on his own for a long time. You need to get tough or this will be the rest of your life.

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