I'm Confused About My Fiance

Patricia - posted on 04/14/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




I've been with my fiance for a little over two years now. When we met, I had a son and they grew to like each other. We got together and planned to have our daughter. When I was pregnant, he told me, dont worry about anyithing, just take care of you and our baby. 3 mo into our pregnancy, he couldnt handle me being sick. We argued a lot. I ended up in a shelter for women and children because i couldnt deal with him anymore. after 3 mo go by, we get back together and i asked him if he did anything with anyone while we werent together (bc im not going to have sex with a dirty dick if he slept with a dirty woman, especially pregnant) and he tells me "no".

well, last year after we got back together, we still didnt have the old loving relationship like it was in the very beginning. I had a knot in my stomach something wasnt right. SO i went through his phone and found txts and fb msgs between him and MULTIPLE females. He was telling one of his co workers that if they werent in relationships, he'd fuck her. AND THIS IS WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER. The other girls he talked to was when we werent together...one girl he sex skyped with and another he was getting naked pics sent to him by his ex he refferes to as "the devil" bc she cheated on him. OH and 2 weeks after we broke up he "almost" had sex with the girlfriend before me...he said he came before he put it in and cried after bc he realized he loved me.

what i dont get is, ive been in therapy (due to personal issues from the past) and im realizing we arent in a healthy relationship. He has been going to therapy with me once a month and has been getting better at being my team mate, more than my enemy. He tells me sweet things...but lately, im getting the gut feeling hes doing something behind my back.

for instance, last night we had a miscommunication and i did follow him and his friends and we did have a fight and i stayed at my moms last night (and tonight) and i did somethings that was irrational. I just called him to apologize and he tells me to go fuck my mother. i called his mom and told her i was trying to apologize and she is a very sweet woman who loves me and doesnt want me to leave her family...so of course i felt comfortable to call her at a late hour...(she lives with us btw) WELL after i talk to her, he calls me back and says he was sorry for saying what he said but he precedes to tell me that what i did last night was something to make him think more about if we should be together and that he thought i would never do something like that. that i betrayed him....all bc of a stupid misunderstanding..and to top it off, i tried telling him how i felt when i ran into his friend and how i didnt like the fact he was cursing at me...i had a boyfriend once who let his friends degrade me like that and i wont stand for it again...

he did hang up on me when i went off on him about betrayal..i tried checking his fb account...and he changed his password on friday....so im thinking the worst, im thinking "he knows my passwords to everything, and vise versa, but now why all of a sudden change it?" he tells me it was bc the keyboard was messing up and he HAD to change his password...but yet he wont tell me what it is.

so should i worry about him or should i let him go? I really dont want to be in an unhealthy relationship and i dont know what to do...any advice is appreciated!


Kristi - posted on 04/15/2013




He's cheating, there is no trust, nothing about this is healthy, run, run now, do not look back, ever!

I think you already know what the right thing to do is here, but you just need some validation and reassurance. Well you've got it. If nothing else, your son will thank you for getting him out of the drama before he becomes the center of it instead of the other women.

Good luck! xo

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/15/2013




It sounds like you both are in a very unhealthy and immature relationship. My advice? Drop the dead weight, and get out now before more drama hits the fan. I don't understand why couples like and need to have all the drama. He is clearly still cheating on you, and it is obvious neither of you respect one another. You are an albatross around each others neck. Leave before you both drown and take your child with you.


View replies by

Liz - posted on 04/15/2013




Honestly, he sounds like someone that you do not need to be with.

Trust is THE number one issue as far as I'm concerned. We should be able to trust our partners absolutely. The minute trust breaks down, it is often irretrievable. It has clearly broken down in your relationship and done so with cause. This man does not seem exclusively committed to you, but you want a faithful relationship. I'm sorry to say that he does not seem like the right guy.

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