I'm struggling to come to terms with the death of my son

Shelley - posted on 05/29/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




Andrew. He died in June 2012 of viral encepahilitis. It was very sudden. He was 15 years old. I have an older son, Dominic, who is 18 now and in his final year of school. I just feel exhausted and sad all the time. I have learned that there are so many people who have lost children. I would just like to know how you have managed to carry on with this terrible weight of grief?


Lakota - posted on 05/29/2013




Shelley, you carried Andrew when your were pregnant with him and cared for him for 15 years after he was born. It has only been a year since his death. You still need time. You are doing the best you can, even if that is just getting out of bed and facing the day. You are right. There are a lot of people who have lost children. If you haven't done so already, I think you should reach out to some of them, join a support group. No one who hasn't been right where you are right now will understand what you are going through, the good days and the bad ones, the holidays, and birthdays. Being around others who have been there helps so much. Please do that.


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Sascha - posted on 05/30/2013




Shelley, I've never lost a child so I cannot empathize but as a mother, I'm so sorry for your loss and give my deepest sympathies to you and your family. The grieving period can be lengthy and as Lakota mentioned, one year is not a very long time. Prayer and attending church really help me in my daily life. Faith is a powerful motivator that keep me going when things around can appear so grim. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. I think it would help you to see a counselor or pastor, someone who you feel you can confide in and share your thoughts and concerns. Best of luck.

Kimberly - posted on 05/29/2013




I personally have never lost a child but last week my friend lost her 5 year old son because him and his sister were playing with a gun they found and it went off and shot him. It really hit me hard because that is my worst fear, that one of my children will die and my advice to you would be to talk to someone about how you feel. Friends, family, or a complete stranger. It doesn't help you or anyone else to keep it inside and to be sad all the time. I imagine its hard but you have to move on. Not forget about him but you can't sit around and feel sad all the time. Your only hurting yourself and your son wouldn't want that.

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