I moved out of the state I filed for divorce in 4 years ago with my ex's knowledge and "consent"

Jess - posted on 04/25/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I moved out of the state where I filed for divorce/primary custody 4 years ago. My ex had full knowledge of the move and did not object or attempt to get custody (he puts very little effort into seeing them, and has gone several weeks without calling to talk to them). He has messed up child support payments 4 times now, blaming it on a "bank's mistake".

I have been more than reasonable about it, considering the first time he paid us $250 less and I just dealt with the repercussions, and the last time we were 1 day away from being evicted. These "mistakes" have cost me hundreds in late fees & have damaged my credit. It is getting to the point where the kids are endangered – we were almost evicted, and have had our power and heat turned off a few times because we were late due to this problem! I have had to feed 4 people for a week on $15 at times.

This time I mentioned that we would probably have to get the courts involved to fix the "bank's mistake" (strange how his bills seem to mysteriously get paid), he threatened that if I notify the court, then I would get into trouble for leaving the state without letting them know (we had an amicable divorce that barely went through the courts - we didn't even hire lawyers throughout the process).

I asked him on the 19th to check with his bank, knowing that in the past, if the funds were more than 4 days late, there was a screwup and that he would need to hash it out with his bank. I asked him at least twice a day every day since then to check on it, and he just told me that he already had, and that the bank told him that the funds were in the process of being transferred. Obviously he didn't check into it that carefully. Again, this is at least the 4th time this has happened over the past year, so it isn't just an accidental mix-up. If he had the money in his account to pay us, it should still be there. But apparently his bills were paid, which took up all of the funds in his bank account. Which means that he didn't have the funds designated to pay both child support and his bills. Not acceptable.

Since we have been established here for several years with his knowledge and acquiescence if not his approval, can I safely contact Friend of the Court for help? He has also been in jail 2-3 times for 5 DUI's, had to wear an ankle monitoring system for a year, and has recently gotten permission to drive as long he breathes into a breathalyzer machine every time he starts his car. I am pretty sure that the court will take all of this into consideration if he tries to contest anything.

I want the courts to take the funds out of his paycheck as soon as it hits his bank account, or to intervene with the bank if it truly is their mistake. But I want to be sure that it will not cause even more difficulty for us.


Michelle - posted on 04/25/2012




He would have had to bring the move before the court 4 years ago for it to be an issue by leaving it this long he has admitted that he is fine with things he is just trying to make you not go to the courts. Other then the courts garnishing his wages right from his job they will not mess with anything else.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms