I need a mothers point of view...I am a father going for full custody..

K - posted on 05/02/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I know this is circleofmoms but I may find myself being dad and mom...

Here is my story:

I had been spending some time in South America when I met a girl online from Colombia. We started dating and about 9 months later she ended up pregnant. I could not stand the thought of being away from her and my child so when I found out she was pregnant I stayed in Colombia for the next 3 years.

Last year I brought my daughter and her mother to the states for the first time. The mother my girlfriend came as a tourist and my daughter came as a US citizen. Three months after they arrived the mother left me for another man. I came one one day to find she took everything I had purchased for my daughter but her toys. Did not even leave me a pair of socks for my daughter.

She moved in with one of her new found girlfriends for about 5 to 7 days then moved into this girls mother house with here new boyfriend. Two weeks after she moved out she got engaged to this man. Two weeks after the engagement she moved out into his sisters house which was section 8 housing. This man had no place for my daughter or her mother to live. She carried my daughter around living out of suit cases for 6 weeks.

That was about the time that I had enough and I contacted this so called man and explained to him in a nice way the situation. It came down to she is here as a tourist and we did not plan on moving back to the US we had a whole life in Colombia that we just left behind when she ran away with him. I explained that she has to go back to her country and if she does not she will be here illegal and that now because she did this to me and my daughter I can no longer allow her to take my daughter back to Colombia for fear she will never let her return. He was not willing to marry her and keep her and my daughter here in the states so he broke it off and made her move back in with me.

Anyway the custody battle started when she left the way she left, I had no choice because I had to make sure she did not flee the country with my daughter if things went south with her and this new love. And in the end it did. The hard part is that I sponsored her to be here and have been taking care of her and my daughter from the start. She has no legal income no home other than mine and I according to the papers that got her into the country I am financially responsible for her while she is in the US. For all those reasons I am going for full custody as she has no way to even support herself here in the US legally, how can she even think of supporting our daughter!

She thinks that I will only get shared custody and maybe that is the case but even with shared parenting I won't release my daughter to be taken out of the country which leaves her mother here illegally if she stays past her 6 month extension. On top of all this she has not even attempted to contact the Guardian ad litem.


View replies by

K - posted on 05/02/2013




I see your point for sure Dove. Let me say it like this, we planned on going back to Colombia for awhile so that she could spend time with her family before our daughter started school. We had agreed long ago that she would attend school in the US. So the whole game plan was visit for awhile 4 months then return to Colombia for 3 to 6 months get her residency established by marriage then return to the US to get our daughter ready for school and find a place we would like to settle. That was the original plan.

Also keep in mind that we lost our condo in Colombia because she refused to return after 4 months like she was supposed to. Was I supposed to return to Colombia alone and live there while my daughter lived in the US? See the had no plans of ever returning to Colombia she made this clear to me my family and her friends. She also made this clear in court when she and her friend told my lawyer and the judge that she had no plans to return to Colombia so she was fine with not being able to take out daughter out of the country.

What happened is that she was supposed to lave Feb 21 but wanted to spend time with her new man so she missed her flight. Then shortly after that he decided he wanted to only be engaged to date...that he didn't want to get married. So now she suddenly wants me to release my daughter to return back to Colombia.

So I hope that cleared the air, I have nothing left for me in Colombia...I would return there to homeless and she already told me that was my problem.

Dove - posted on 05/02/2013




From a mother's point of view... while I do not agree with what she did to you... I would fight til the bitter end before I would allow you to get full custody of my child. Joint is one thing, but since she can not stay here legally.... you would be the biggest prick in the world (in my mind) if you did not allow me to take our child back to our former home. If your plan wasn't to remain in the US.... why would you then change that plan just to keep your child from her mother when her mother ends up being deported back to Colombia? YOU said you all never intended to stay in the US.... yet now that you are not with the mother of your child and she will end up being sent back to Colombia... now you ARE planning to stay in the US....

Yeah... you don't earn any 'brownie points' with me for posting this here. You BOTH should have equal rights and equal access to this child... and it sounds like neither of you are interested in what is best for HER.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms