I need HELP!!!

Crystal - posted on 07/08/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )




I have a beautiful two year old babygirl that is always screaming! She cries and screams when she doesn't get her way, when it is bedtime, when she wakes up in the morning, and when we pull up at her daycare. I am at my wits end!! my boyfriend and I are always fighting because of it because he doesn't agree with the way I handle her. I try to comfort her, put her in time out, and just let her scream. She just started a new daycare the first of June. At first she would cry when we went in for about an hour or so, but the teacher said that she has gotten better. Could it be the daycare or just the change? What can I do to help her through this stage? Please Please Please help me!!

Thank you


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Manda - posted on 07/09/2009




I totally agree with Siobhan and the other posts here. There is a section on Babywhisperers.com that helps with toddler behaviors. Why don't you logg on and see if anyone can help there too. You wont be the only one who is having these sort of problems! Best of luck and don't worry you will get through this!

[deleted account]


Firstly dont fret or panic as she is only 2 and her way of expressing herself and most 2 yr olds is tantrums, screaming etc so you are not alone!! My worry for you is that you have a partner who isnt agreeing with you as that in itself is the basis of you as a mum to get anxious and frustrated and the arguments must never be in front of a child and the disagreements as they are like sponges and although you may not realise it, they hear and take in everything so she sees and feels every argument and disagreement you both have with each other and until thats sorted you will be at your wits end trying to calm a little 2 year old down. Tell your partner if he disagrees with you he cannot say it or shout it or make it be felt in front of her at anytime and he cantell you and talk it through with you away from her ear shot and away fromher , maybe when she is asleep provided there is no shouting!! Is this boyfriend her father or not as this can be damaging to her also if he isnt. I am lucky my daughter is 3 years old and we never had problems thank god but we make and have made an informed decision if we need to argue we never ever do it infront of my daughter or let her see we have a disagreement and i believe this makes for a happy child. At 2 yrs old everything is still new to her and she is absorbing every feeling, every action, every movement, facial expression from those around her and it is your responsibility to make sure that she feels only calmness and happiness around her ( which i am sure you as her mum are already doing) but you must insist that your boyfriend does the same at all times. She may see that he makes her mummy sad and dosent know at this stage how to say how she feels about that , thus the screaming !! Also if your time is spent arguing with your boyfriend then she could be trying to get your attention away from him. As your boyfriend has he been there from her birth or is he new ? If he new to her then again she is pinnigyour attention away from him as she isnt used tothe attention away from her but as i dont know that i cannot make that call . These are all things you should look at and try and pin point when she started all this screaming and hopefully you will be able to work out what she is so desperatelytrying to say to you . I am not a child psychologist but i have a very close friend who is and i know this would be the advise she would give . Good luck with your beautiful daughter

[deleted account]

how are her sleep habits? Is she sleeping well? What time do you put her down in the night? Does she still nap?
I believe that a child that lacks a suffcient amount of sleep will have more tantrums because they are tired and still not 100% able to express what they need.

Sandra - posted on 07/08/2009




Hello Crystal, Yes it's difficult to know what to do, especially as you've followed all the advice from the health visitor!!

Your little girl is an individual not a text book charactor, therefore you can't expect her to follow the instructions. She can't read anyway!! lol. As for not getting her own way, I've noticed with my two yr old Grand-daughter, if I distract her with an equally interesting toy/object as I say thank you taking the other off her that I don't wish her to have, this works! My G-daughter has an older bro, who sometimes snatches things from her and of course she reacts to that! We do as adults too! I've taught my G.son to swap toys, with her instead of snatching It eventually will work!! As for her tantrums(constant screaming) does this ocurr when ever you are distracted from her? i.e. whilst you and your partner are having an argument? Maybe seeing you both fight has caused her to feel insecure and placing her in day-care may have re-inforced the fear? As does her not seeing you both as friends before she goes to bed etc.

I'm not saying take her out of day-care, could it be possible not to argue in front of her and show her your'e both united in the decision making at home! It's really surprising how sensitive young children are, even at this early age!!! I hope this may be of help to you. God bless Sandra a granny from Wales xx

Michelle - posted on 07/08/2009




Did she always do this or did it just start with the new daycare? I work in a daycare centre and I see this a lot. In most cases it's just the stress of something new in their lives. If she's only upset for the first little bit then I would be inclined to think that she is just getting use to it. Has she said anything about the daycare? I would think that if it was a problem with the centre she would say something to you, IE> their mean, I don't like the food, etc. Anything different can throw some children into a state of stress. I hope this gets better for you soon! Good luck:)

[deleted account]

One thing I found when my boy was a toddler was reading a book by Dr Christopher Green called "Toddler Taming" it gave me a really good insight into their thinking... I recommend this for any mum with toddlers.... (his book "Babies" is also a brilliant read..) Hope this helps....

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