I need help... I am totally sleep deprived!

Stacie - posted on 01/28/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )




I started a conversation about "crying it out" in the Toddler Moms group so if you've seen me there, don't be too offended, I just need more help.

I have a 3 year old that I have rocked to sleep from the very beginning. When he was 9mos old my husband forcefully convinced me to CIO with him at night. We did it for a while with some success, but then we'd go on vacation and have to start all over again time and time again, so we stopped. Then for a while my husband was able to read him a book and just lay him down and our son would just go to sleep on his own. That lasted for a while, but then also stopped working and then I just went back to rocking him to sleep. After the first go round at 9mos he stopped getting up in the middle of the night for the most part. My trouble with him was always how LONG it would take me to get him to BE asleep.

So now... I have an 8mos old. Of course I was rocking him to sleep. He was waking up in the night to eat still at 4mos and at that point I tried to start weening him from night feedings with no luck. I tried for almost two months and was just so tired that I just went back to feeding him when he woke up. Well... then he started waking up eating... and staying awake for several hours at a time. We have a pretty structured day and I keep him on a pretty regular schedule so it wasn't like he was not getting his naps or getting too much naps.

Four months later now and I'm still battling him. A couple weeks ago I gave in to my husband again and we tried to CIO. It did not work. I went one full week and only ONE time did I enter the room before he stopped crying. At the end of that week the crying was only getting worse not better. Not to mention that I still rock my 3yo to sleep (that is just our special snuggle time). I felt sick when I thought about the comparision. So I stopped.

NOW, I have trouble getting him to stay asleep - a problem I NEVER had before and he is waking up and staying up more than ever. He has been teething, he has been sick - really sick, but I think we're about over the sickness now. And I NEED HELP! I am so tired and cranky that I'm getting to where I don't even want to be around myself so I can only imagine how my husband and children feel.

What I want to know.... What works and I need specifics. I know there are books out there, but please ladies - I am so sleep deprived that I can barely get through Good Night Moon, much less a long winded book about sleep. When I talked about it before moms were mildly helpful saying that "it's the way to go", "it worked for us", yeah yeah I know it works for people that's why they recommend it. I don't need to know WHY I should do it I need to know HOW I should do it. I undestand that every child and every parent is different - but I'm so desperate right now, it's pathetic.

Also... maybe you didn't CIO with your little ones, maybe you tried something else that really worked, I'd like to hear about that too. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is welcome advice at this point.


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Dawn - posted on 01/28/2009




Sleep is overrated! lol I have 4 (under 8) and there were many ways i used to get my children to sleep. First of all they all hated the crib. After around 8m-1year i either bought a twin or queen bed for them. They needed room to stretch and flop sleep:) Since babies I didn't rock they but held them tight and rubbed their heads until they fell asleep. After a while they were able to do it themselves. A mothers job is very challenging there are no right answers but one thing you have to realize is they have been with you their entire lives, from conception till now. What they want is you! So, i have a little trundle bed (mattress from the crib) that they will sleep and have slept on since they were all almost 6 months. They have slept on this mattress on the side of my bed until they go to sleep. I start out with letting them stay a week, constantly looking at them, holding their hand from my bed and letting them know i am there (from my bed). Then i move it to a month where im not as attentive and picking them up in the middle of the night and putting them in their beds. After 2 months they were in a big bed and from time to time come to my room to sleep. I hide the mattress under my bed. When they are sick its comforting to them. It all takes time, think about it back in the days the whole family used to sleep in the same room, why has things changed. My husband and i have a wonderful relationship and you children are little only once, cherish every moment even if its in the night!

Natalie - posted on 01/28/2009




OK I have no idea what CIO is...
BUT, this is what the deal was with my first child. From day one she slept in our bed...duh stupid!
i tried everything from soothing baths, to rocking her to sleep. Even one night my mental mother in law tied her to her bed to make her stay there (she was about 3 and a half at that stage).
Then one day... her father had an ingenious idea. He put a barn door on her bedroom. The top opened and the bottom closed. She knew we were still up, and could see us if she got out of bed. But she couldn't get out of the room and we'd ignore her if she spoke, whined, cried etc as we could "see" there was nothing wrong with her.
Now this wasn't an instant fix. It took many nights of me being strong enough to ignore her pleas for attention and in the end she realized that Mummy just wasn't going to come.
It took months for her to realize it was no use and at first she'd cry at the door til she fell asleep right at it (then we'd pick her up and put her into bed). The next step... she'd fall asleep on the floor but away from the door. And then it was just so much easier for her once she realized that she might as well just sleep in her bed! LOL

She's 15 now and doesn't even remember the drama she caused us. And yes I still have trouble getting her to bed but it's usually cos she wants to watch scrubs on telly or is chatting to friends on MSN!!

This too shall pass
try to stay strong and calm and know that us mothers are on your side!
warm hugs from Aus

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