I need help. I'm no mom but I am a father

Steven - posted on 05/26/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Well ill start here. My ex and I were together untill she was three months pregnant. I caughter her cheating on me and well her being pregnant she got to make up new laws it seemed like. She it me with a bogus restraining order. Was droped with voluntary dismiss no prejudice. Well the whole time she was with that guy and put me through hell. Well after my beautiful daughter was born she still didn't allow me to see her. I didn't get to see my daughter till she was 3 weeks old. Only reason I got to then is because I went fo child support and turned myself into it and demanded paternity. Well the next day I finally got to see my daughter....for one hour... well after two more times of meeting we decided we were still inlove with each other..keep in mind she is still dating the other guy..she cheated on him with me...three times before she broke up with him. I didn't care at all I was just happy to have my family back. Well a few weeks later I found out he was at the birth the whole time and cut my babies cord....that hurt me so bad and I felt it unfair but I left it alone and got us into couples couceling. Last week I found out that not only did all that happen plus some...I found out that she named my daughter after his grand mother. We had a name picked out and she said she didn't like it cause the guys ex had a daughter named that and she wanted something unique...really...well needless to say I left. While we were together I was paying every bill she had did the dishes laundry cleaned the house and stayed up till she got home off work at 12 at night...oh and I was the one with a full time job not her. I always gave her breaks would stay up for days just so she could rest..took her shopping weekly. I would right her poetry and pick her flowers..which she would let die in her car..nothing I did was good enough her her. She hasn't let me talk to my daughter or see my daughter..the thing is I still love her for some reason and I hate myself for that. I got a lawyer and going for custody.I'm just wondering why is it when you give your all you always get nothing. I would of gave her the world just for a hug and kiss when I got home..she doewnt see how much I care/cared for her and never will...


Missy - posted on 05/26/2013




If I were you, regarding your child, I would go to court, pay child support or get custody, and set up visitation between you two. As for your ex-LET HER GO! You sounded like you were a good partner and really loved her but all your love won't make her love you back. You deserve better. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and only you. Quit fantasizing about something that is not. You will find happiness again only if you let this one go. When you give your all to someone who doesn't love you then, yes, you're going to get nothing or little in return. If you give your all to someone who does love you, you will get the world in return. It's her loss if she failed to recognize what all you wanted to give her. I'm very sorry. Don't hate yourself for loving her but recognize that you're probably more in love with what you had at the beginning than her. You need to grieve this relationship, make the best father you can to your baby, and move on!! Don't obsess about her, don't constantly think about her, don't think about what was or what could have been. You need to take care of yourself and allowing someone to play havoc with your emotions is not helping. Give yourself some new goals that have nothing to do with her and give it time. I'm sorry you got hurt.

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