I need some advise on how to get my daughter to communicate with new adults and children?

Lisa - posted on 04/24/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have been a single parent since my daughter was 18 months old she is now 5 years old. I would like some advice as my daughter seems to go reserved when in the company of adults, children and large groups. Her school teacher has reassured me that she is fine at school. can anyone offer help on how to change this?


Alison - posted on 04/24/2012




The fact that you are a single parent may have absolutely nothing to do with her being shy. This behaviour is very normal for her age and it is OK to be shy!!! Don't aim to "change" her, but "help" her to grow.

My daughter knows she is shy and uses it as an excuse. I tell her that even if she is shy, she can learn to talk to people - even when she is scared! Try role-playing some scenarios. Also, explain to her why it is important to greet people, to respond when she is spoken to, to speak loud enough to be heard. And remind her of how it makes people feel when she does that (focus on the positive, not the negative).

But honestly if her teacher has no concerns, she must not be terrible reserved.

Amy - posted on 04/24/2012




My son just turned 6 and he is very reserved, but it's his personality and there is nothing I can do to change it. You can try positive reinforcement, a rewards chart, or you can try something that my doctor reccommended with my son-marks for bravery. The idea is whenever my son does something out of his comfort zone you draw a mark on his wrist or hand. Then at night you can talk about what she did to earn those marks. Honestly with my son though I've found that giving him space and letting him do things within his comfort zone is best otherwise we are met with a lot of resistance.


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Lisa - posted on 04/24/2012




Thank you that is helpful I feel like I am at a brick wall at the moment cos I have her dad telling me its me that has made her the way she is but I want things to be better, I have started to introduce that she has to say hello and goodbye cos she refuses to do it. I know she is very shy, I really want her to grow and gain more confidence. I was thinking of maybe introducing a reward chart for the simple things of her saying hello and goodbye do you think this is a good idea?

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