I need support NOW!!!

Savannah - posted on 03/18/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




I'm a single mother of an almost four yr old. She has just started to know her biological dad via supervised visitation two hours a month, sometimes even less because he cancels. Her biological dad was accused of child sexual abuse and I found out after she was born, so theres not much of a chace of a dad-daughter relantionship there. Though since she was 6 month old I started dating my best friend for life. We are always on and off, but always friends, always caring and "co parenting" with her. HIm and my daughter clicked instantly. She adores him, she calls him baby (cause that what we call each other) and sometimes but much less daddy. Thankfully I also have my dad around being a very much present father figure for her, she calls him daddy too, but all the time. The thing is everyone expects me to be and marry my best friend/boyfriend cause it would be the perfect scenario, chance for me to have a "family" and give my daughter the "family" life, dad relantionship, and dad family she does not have. He does not have kids and wants one, but I go back and forth with it since I have invested so much in my daughter and want to be 100% for her given her bio dad situation. The thing is I'm not IN love with him. He is a great person, but not the person for me I feel in my heart. I feel super guilty in leaving him cause I feel its my one an only chance for my daughter to have a family, hes been in her life since she was a baby, so its like fixing everything that went wrong with her bio dad and not complicating things more. At the same time I dont want to compromise my happiness or not show her what true love is. I need support on what to do, please!


Lakota - posted on 03/18/2013




You are doing right. Marriage is hard enough when two people are in love with each other. Your daughter has a family - you and your dad and everyone else. Don't let people pressure you into getting married.


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Dove - posted on 03/18/2013




Don't marry someone you aren't in love with. That isn't fair to anyone involved.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/18/2013




Actually IMO, you have complicated the situation a lot more by having him step in as a father figure without intentions of a long term relationship with this man. When he finds out you do not love him, and you were using him, he is not going to stick around and your daughter will loose that bond. I do firmly feel this needs to be addressed sooner than later so everyone can adjust to the change. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be. Good luck.

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