I really need help with my step son!!!

Kira - posted on 04/07/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )




I don't even know where to start...

This is very new to me (with in the last 6 months).
His dad and I have been together going on 2 years now and my kids and myself have recently moved in with him and his son as of the beginning of February. Things were just fine before we all started living with each other, even with them pretty much living at my home 5 days a week. I never had an issue with him.

Now lets fast forward to currently...

It doesn't matter what I do, how nice I am or how strict...he's still a rude little prick! He's 14 (awful teenage years to come, believe me...I know), he's very opinionated (which most of the time I LOVE, because I can actually have conversations with him)...but lately (the last month and a half) he's been being a real jerk to me and just talking shit to me. His dad has yelled, screamed, taken away his iPod, ect. It just doesn't stop!!
I believe the biggest issue is that he's 6'4. He's adult size, so he feels like he is an adult I believe. Like he thinks that he has the right to tell me to rinse the pans out from the night's prior dinner because he had to scrub them! Although the issue isn't that so much...it's that when I told him that with 7 people in the gouse and all I already have to do, that he was welcome to do it himself. That rinsing the dinner pans out could be him new chore. So he then proceeded to raise his voice and yell at me about it. (He is 1 of 5 kids. I have 4 younger kids aged 10,8,5,&5. They ALL help with dishes and doing things around the house, not just him.) The issue is that he thinks that he has the right talk to me like an adult and to tell me what to do around the house and just flat out disrespect me. He has done things like this quite a bit prior and I'm just so frustrated!! His dad is at the point that if I can't deal with it, then I can leave. Because he doesn't know what to do.
The part that I'm most frustrated about is that I really want things to work. I want to get along with him. I love him and his dad very much and I can't let this ruin my relationship. I've talked to him, told him how I felt when he is disrespectful to me and says things like he does. He acknowledges me, but then nothing changes. I need help!


Raye - posted on 04/07/2015




Not to be disrespectful, but if you're not married yet the boy is NOT your step-son. You are NOT his step-mom. You are the live-in girlfriend.

So, if I'm reading this right, they were staying with you sometimes, all was fine. You moved in with them and now are having problems? Seems like the boy feels their space was invaded. If his father did not prepare him for you moving in by demanding that he treat you with respect as the future/potential step-mother, then the dad was at fault for allowing this situation. If your BF is saying "deal with it or leave", then I would leave. It is not your job to all of a sudden be Mom to his child. HE still needs to make the boy behave. You and the dad need to be on the same page with your parenting, because it will cause resentment with all the kids of they see someone getting treated differently. Coming up with a chore chart or something so each kid knows what is expected of them may help.

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