I really need some advice

Estrllagrr - posted on 06/21/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




Should I let my 13 & 14 daughter go live with my 22 year old daughter that has a 6 yr old daughter and 1 1/2 yr old daughter and in a couple of days her newborn will be here. It really hurts that they don't want to live with me anymore they tell everything to my oldest why they dont want to live here anymore but why dont they tell me anything what goes on with them. I just found out that one of them cuts her self. When I found that out it really hurts. See am not married I have a boyfriend that has been with me for almost 10 yrs we have one child together, she is 9 yrs old. More less he has raised all my other kids . See I have lived a abusive relationships in the past with my kids fathers there fathers have not seen them since they were babies so more less my boyfriend has been there for them no matter what he works his butt off and he tries to tell them how the real world is out there he also has been in a bad experience when he was growing up, his been there done that and like I dont know how to discipline my kids I just let them do what ever they want to do but when I got with my boyfriend everything has changed they say he is very strict with them yeah we get into it cause of them because I try to cover them up so bad that it back fires on me and I we start arguering. And more less I could go on and on anyway what should I do Im so upset can anyone give me some advice. Please!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/22/2015




Wow. You'd actually saddle your adult child (who, by the sounds of it, is successfully raising her own family) with your minor children that you can't control (and from the sounds of it, never have tried)???
I agree with the rest. You dropped the ball long ago by being the permissive parent that let them get away with murder. Your SO is most definitely a saint for putting up with it for as long as he has, and especially for being willing to have another child with you!
Put on your big girl pants, grow up, and be a PARENT to your kids.

Raye - posted on 06/22/2015




I agree with the other ladies. Children need discipline and guidance, and you have not done right by them. Your BF sounds like a saint to stick around. You should be on the same page with your BF on raising the kids and having consequences for their behavior. But, it may be too late now, because you have not been a parent to them this whole time. It's very sad, and I feel sorry for your kids and your BF.

Michelle - posted on 06/22/2015




I'm with Jodi!!!
YOU need to stop letting your children walk all over you. Of course they want to live with their sister if your Bf is disciplining them. You haven't so they don't like being told off. You still cover for them as well!!!!
I'm surprised your boyfriend has stayed around for 10 years, most women claim they have an extra child with their partner but your BF can claim that.
TBH, I think it's far too late for you to start being a parent now, you should have been doing it 22 years ago.
Sorry if I sound harsh but read what you have written from an outsiders view, what would you advise?

Jodi - posted on 06/22/2015




You already answered your own question - you are far to lenient with them and they have been playing you and your boyfriend off against each other. How fair is it to your 22 year old that your daughters end up with her? YOU are the parent, YOU need to do your job, and that includes NOT letting them do whatever they want. Your 22 year old has a 6 year old - did that happen because she was allowed to do what she wanted? Honestly, grow a backbone and learn to say no.

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