I think my ex fed my only breastfed newborn formula

Sara - posted on 10/19/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




My ex and I are in a heated custody battle. He left me when I was 5 weeks pregnant and was nowhere until I had My baby. Now he is being super mean and trying to make me pump and my attorney told him no judge will make me pump. My baby is only 4 weeks old and is strictly breastfed. However last night when I picked him up I suspected he received formula and today is stools are very green and my baby is extra fussy when breastfeeding.


Raye - posted on 10/19/2015




Sara, you don't have to pump. But if the baby's father has the baby and he's hungry, then what do you expect the father to do? Sounds like he was trying to do the right thing by requesting that you provide breast milk if that is your preference for feeding. But you refused. So, he he had to feed the baby something and formula was the only thing available to him. So next time, weigh the consequences of your actions when you refuse a request that would benefit the child. Don't play games because you no longer like this man you made a baby with. You have to think about what's best for the child. If that means pumping so the father has milk to feed him, then that's what you should do.

Dove - posted on 10/19/2015




Does he have a court order for visitation? If you left your baby w/ your ex and did not leave a bottle of breast milk... you only have yourself to blame if your baby was fed formula....

While I would be letting him see the baby as often as possible there is no way I would leave ANYONE (father or not) alone w/ my breastfed baby long enough for my baby to even possibly get hungry unless there was a court order making me do so.

You can certainly pump if your ex is going to be alone w/ the baby and you can try to get it in the court order that your ex has to feed the pumped breast milk before offering any formula... but you can not leave someone alone w/ your baby w/out any breast milk and then get upset when the child gets formula.


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Ev - posted on 10/19/2015




I have to agree with the other ladies here. If he had the child with no breast milk to give, how do you expect him to feed the child. Pumping breast milk is not unorthodox. A lot of women do it because of jobs, child's visitation with dad in custody cases and even with grandparents having the little ones. Mothers also pump milk out for babysitters or child care if they work. I do not think it is unrealistic for him to as for you to pump milk when he has the child in his care. He did the right thing though not what the baby as used to in giving him/her formula because that is all he had at the moment. You need to think more of the child than yourself. If the tables were turned you would want dad to provide whatever it was the child needed such as medication or even the formula if you did not know what formula was being used. And dad can ask for te judge to have you pump for the visits he gets so the baby can have something.

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