I wanna know how do i stop my 3 1/2 year old from having "Temper Tantrums"?


Katherine - posted on 10/06/2011




Giving him candy isn't a proactive way to stop the tantrums. Most 3 year olds tantrum. But I would need more info.
I do reward charts with my daughter. She gets stickers every time she does something right. And she get's to put them on herself. If she has 3 good days she get's to do something special. Most of the time it doesn't cost money. We go to the pet store, library or park. I used to take her to the book store but now it's closed.
Don't give in and walk away when he/she tantrums. Make it not a big deal. Act like you don't care. Tell them you'll talk to them when they're done.

JuLeah - posted on 10/06/2011




More often the not, kids want attention or to avoid something. Make sure the tantrum doesn't pay off for him.

Make sure he doesn't get attention for it and make sure it doesn't get him out of whatever he didn't want to do

Give language - yes, he speaks, but more advanced langauge to express what he wants thinks feels would be better them just screaming at you

Distraction works well

Keep him focus on what comes next, as in, after we pick up the blocks we will go to the park - that might go over better then just - pick up the blocks

Sheila - posted on 10/06/2011




Giving candies or the like doesn't mean giving in to what they want.And not all 3 years old are into books at that early.We've seen different children with different moods,interests and habits.Pampering them once in a while is not spoiling them.Disciplining our children depends on the way we deal with them.They are only 3 years old so we must first come down to their level until we could dance to their moods.And as soon as he is over he will come to realize that making tantrums is just a way of catching an attention.

Lisa - posted on 10/06/2011




When my kids tantrum I try to help them express themselves I try phrases like this,
Oh man you are so mad! You are mad because I said you couldn't have any more milk. Being mad doesn't feel nice.
Then I follow up with distraction like, "should we play blocks now?
I know this won't work for every child but with both of mine it seems to work. I just walk away or start playing blocks myself and ignore my child until they calm down.
We also do this with other emotins like sadness, frustration and even happiness and love. I point out the emotion and state how it feels (good/bad).
My three year old is tantruming less and starting to be able to tell me why he is upset.

[deleted account]

Depends on the reason for the tantrum.

Bribing a child or giving in to their tantrum (by giving them candy, etc...) is a sure fire way to make sure they throw a tantrum the next time they want candy.

If it's lack of communication... give them the words to say how they feel.

Overtired/frustrated.... comfort

Because they aren't getting their way... ignore. If it's something they CAN'T have... totally ignore. If it's something they CAN have... wait til they calm down and ask nicely.

Oh... and the number one way to stop tantrums after all of that.... wait til they 'outgrow' it and it turns to sassiness. ;)


View replies by

Sharice - posted on 10/06/2011




I want to "THANK YOU, LADIES" 4your inputs on my situation.....I know it is not easy dealing with a child who throws "Tantrums" whenever he/she can not get their way. My daughter being the only child is used to getting everything she wants. However, growing up I was desciplined as a child so my sense of values in life was totally different from others. I had to earn what was given 2me. Overall, I am the desciplining type with whole lot of LOVE to give but I want/and need for my daughter to understand that "Mommy is the Parent and she is the CHILD" and whatever I say, go's. I try to find ways and solutions to help her deal with her emotions but my daughter is so Stubborn and Determined to get what she wants (it kind of sounds like me, lol). I do not believe in rewarding a child if he/or she does not earn it (again, thats just how I was raised). My daughter is in touch w/her feelings and completely understands right from wrong. She just chooses not to listen. So.....I am PATIENTLY waiting 4her 2outgrow these "Temper Tantrums" and to step into the next stage, "SASSINESS". May God help Me...b/c she is already TRYING ME, lol! Thanx Ladies.

Bonnie - posted on 10/06/2011




I have heard that 3 year old tantrums are worse than 2 year old tantrums. I believe it...I have experienced this with both my boys. Just do your best to place his attention elsewhere. Sometimes if you ignore the tantrum and just let the child get it out of their system, it helps. Sometimes just picking your child up and holding them, but not saying anything can help too.

Louise - posted on 10/06/2011




It depends what the tantrum is over if it is simply over control then they have to learn that mummy is the boss and all the tantrum.s in the world are not going to change that. First of all warn that the child will have to sit on the naughty step if she keeps it up and then follow through and place her in time out for 3 minutes. At first she will refuse to sit there and the tantrum may get worse. Keep putting heer back until she has finished her three minutes. When the three minutes are up get down to her level and tell her what she was doing wrong. Always end the chat on a cuddle. The next time she starts warn her again that she will go to the naughty step and so on. She will soon get the message that you mean business and that she is not in control.

Sheila - posted on 10/06/2011




Simply by diverting his attention with toys,candies or the like.By talking to him nicely and pampering him instead of scolding him.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms