i want more kids and my husband saids if i di get knocked up he will leave me is that normall

Tiffany - posted on 06/01/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )




i have always wanted four kids and he knew this when we got merried six years ago and i am willing to count his son cody as mine so all i want is one more but he saids he will leave me if i do


Linda - posted on 06/01/2010




It sounds like you might need marriage counseling more than another child. Having children is something you should both agree on, and compromise is important..but if he is threatening to leave you, that shows very little respect for you and little concern for your marriage.

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Louise - posted on 08/09/2010




This is a bit strong! Is your hsband worried about the financial drain on the family a new child would bring or is he just not up to the sleepless nights again! I told my husband I wanted another baby and his first reaction was noway and he went into an almighty strop for a week or so. Mind you we had finished with the baby thing as my sons were 15 and 13 at the time. He eventually agreed and it took me three years and 3 miscarriages to have that baby. We celebrated my eldest sons 18th and my daughters 1st birthday all in the same week. My daughter is daddies little girl and he loves her to bits. i am sure he feels a right twit to think he never wanted her and put up such a fight. If I was married to your husband I would sit down with him and ask him what the problem is he can't just say no and threaten to leave you have a right to know why.

Abbie - posted on 08/08/2010




How many do you have now? Who controls the birthcontrol? If he is leaving itup to you, then he isn't really too worried I would say. I am not saying trap him, but I would bet he won't leave. Course if he says crap like that, do you really want to keep him around?

Stacey - posted on 08/08/2010




well 6 yrs ago he should of said he didn't want anymore kid's b4 u guys i do's. so i think maybe u guys need to have a heart to heart.

Sarah - posted on 06/01/2010




I wonder why he is so against having another child? We all just jump on board with your side, but what if he is actually being rational? Can you afford to have another child? Do you have the room in your home? Does he have a good steady job? Is he concerned about paying college tuition for 4 children? Is he worried about your health?
There are a million and one Good reasons not to have a child and I'm just playing devil's advocate.
I would love to have another child but we just can't afford it right now, so we have decided to wait. My husband and I both said we wanted 2+ children when we got married, but I'm not going to hold that above his head when he has a real reason to not have more- and money is a real reason!

Joanna - posted on 06/01/2010




I agree with counseling... either couples counseling, or maybe he should go to counseling if he's threatening to leave you over something like that.

Colleen - posted on 06/01/2010




What? Tell him you will leave him if he doesn't give you another child (as a joke just to see what he says. I'm curious what is response would be and just how important are you to him)...Speaking to a professional may help resolve this situation...

Deborah - posted on 06/01/2010




I would recommend counseling. Even though he did agree to a certain number of children when you got married. You don't want to say "well you said we could have 4 children and we will have 4 children whether you like it or not". Not exactly the best way to bring a child into the world. Maybe your husband has a good reason for changing his mind. I think the two of you need to sit down and discuss this, if you don't feel as if you can do it with just the two of you, I would suggest a counselor to act as a mediator. I wish you the best of luck with this.

Nyssa - posted on 06/01/2010




Makes me think of my sister-in-law. Her husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage, and said he didn't want more kids. Well, for that matter, he didn't want to re-marry either, but she talked him into both. First they married, then they tried for a year to get pregnant. She used something to help get pregnant. When she wanted the second, he said no way. I don't think he threatened to leave. Well, she had the appointment already set up with her doctor, so she could get this medicine again to help get pregnant again. She didn't need it. She was already prego with #2. They are still together, but she was very upset when he told her no with the 2nd one. She even called in sick to work, she was so upset. Maybe he will change his mind in a year or so.

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I hope the two of you get into some counseling asap. It definitely sounds like there are much more serious issues on both sides than whether or not to have one more child.

Veronique - posted on 06/01/2010




By him telling you that he'll leave you if you get pregnant is kinda of he's way of making sure that there's no "ACCIDENTS" now it's unfair of him to say that if he knew very well that you wanted 4 kids and he agreed to that. But if he didn't know you wanted4 kids then i think it's unfair for you to ask that of him. Have you ask him why he doesn't want one more? Are you a stay at home mom? If so maybe he's feeling the pressure of providing for he's already large family and maybe he thinks that adding one more would just add stress to him. But if you are both working then there's got to be a reason and you guys need to agree on this subject

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I'm so sorry for what you are going through, I think its sad that he would say such a thing but if he feels that stongly about not having more children I think you should really consider his reasoning before doing anything that could damage your relationship. I think it sucks that he knew this long ago and didn't consider it before you all got married but if you deliberatly get pregnant and he does leave are you willing to live with that? Or what if he doesn't and becomes resentful, and your baby doesn't recieve the love from its Dad that he / she deserves? I don't know if his reasons are financial, fear or he's just being selfish but either way I think getting prego on purpose in spite of what he says could be quite damaging. Just my opinion, hope it helps a bit.

Jodi - posted on 06/01/2010




Was he also clear about the fact he didn't want any more kids when you married him? I hardly think it is all his fault, and I would also recommend that you should both get some counselling to resolve this if you can't come to an agreement.

[deleted account]

Did he tell you a reason why? I know my husband has said that he never wanted children but was willing to compromise with me since I always wanted two. Our compromise was one child so that way both of us would be happy.

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