I want more Kids but my Husby says no, what do i do?

OLUFUNMILOLA - posted on 01/12/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )




I had my 1st child in year 2003 (a girl) and the 2nd child 2yrs after (a boy), & since then i have been on family planning. Two years back i decided to have a baby but to my surprise my husband did not like the idea of having more babies. My fear is that i have heard the longer and older you stay to have babies the more difficult your labour pains will be. I am 34yrs and my Husband is 40yrs, and i really would love to have maybe 2 more kids and preferably a multiple birth because if am able to convince my husband this once i doubt if i will be allowed to have more kids again. I really need all your advice on this.


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OLUFUNMILOLA - posted on 01/27/2011




Thanks to you all for all your wonderful advice will surely not trick him or talk him into it, and i hope it will work out for good. Love u all.

Misti - posted on 01/12/2011




I would pray about it honey. Children are a blessing from the Lord. I will be praying for you honey. Open communication with your hubby and sharing your heart is what is important..

Rosie - posted on 01/12/2011




When I found out I was pregnant for the first time, my hubby and I were not expecting it. When she was born it was the best feeling in the world. When she was 5 months old I found out I was pregnant again and I was shattered, thinking how am I going to do this etc....I did do because I had to. We decided that we didn't want anymore. I was 31 when my first was born and 32 when my second was born. My husband had a vesectomy when my youngest was 4 months old. Two years ago I decided I wanted another baby this lasted for a few months but I can say that now my children are 7 and 6 I am happy that we didn.t

I think you really need to talk to your hubby about this, no tricking him because he will resent you forever. Tell him you really want another baby and ask him why he doesn't, you may find that he is probably scared and worried about the financial implications that more children will bring to your family.

Good luck and I hope this works out for you both either way.

Rebekah - posted on 01/12/2011




Sorry you are struggling with this, I realize it is hard...I am in a similar boat with my husband not wanting any more. But I have to ask you...how would you feel if your husband was trying to convince you not to have any more? Your feelings are your feelings, and your husband's are his...you are both entitled to how you feel. Definitely have more conversations about them and try to reach greater understanding on both parts as to why you both feel the way you do. If he has a concern that can be problem solved through (finances, space, etc), then great--find ways to make it work together. But if there are concerns on his part that are more comprehensive, then it may be something that you have to work through or even accept. My suggestion would be not to "talk him into" anything... you don't want resentment when the baby would come...you need his full partnership and support. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that babies, wonderful as they are, can be a stress on marriage under any circumstances. If it doesn't work the way you want it, celebrate the two blessings that you have already. Best wishes.

Louise - posted on 01/12/2011




My advice is to sit with your husband and talk this through as bringing up a baby affects you both. My husband did not want any more kids and for 15 years I respected his wishes and then (body clock ticking) I approached him again and he finally agreed. We now have a 19 year old son a 16 year old son and a 2 year old daughter. The only advice I can give you about being an older mum is you do get tired and pregnancy holds all sorts of different problems to consider like the chances of down syndrome get higher. If this is something you really feel you want then you need to convince your husband and get him to agree. Whatever you do do not trick him as he will feel cheated and the relationship between him and the child will never be a happy one. I hope all goes well.

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