I would like someone to talk to..

Lacy - posted on 06/06/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )




I'm 20 years old and my son will be one at the end of this month and I'm due next week with my second. My husband and I are beyond excited for our second, but all I've been doing these past couple weeks is stressing! My first son is disabled (hydrocephalus). He looks like an average one year old, but just started rolling over on mothers day. He can't crawl yet and I'm afraid to have two non mobile babies. Everyone keeps telling it'll be fine, but I see how young mothers struggle with two kids with
no complications. It just upsets me when I see other babies his age crawling and walking and there's nothing I can do about it and now I'm not going to have as much time to focus on him.


Krista - posted on 06/06/2011




Wow, you really have a lot on your plate -- that must be incredibly tough. Do you have any friends or relatives close by who can come by and give you a hand sometimes?

Not having dealt with hydrocephalus, I don't really know what specific advice to give you. However, there are several groups here for mothers in your situation, and I don't doubt that you'll be able to find some really good support and resources there, if you wanted to check them out. Here are the links, so that you don't have to go hunting:


There's one specifically for moms of kids with hydrocephalus, but it's a smaller group:


I hope this helps. And yes, it's going to be a struggle on many days. But you WILL eventually find your own routine and will figure out a way to give both of your children what they need. It'll just take some time and some trial and error.


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JuLeah - posted on 06/06/2011




It'd be like having twins. Two babies at the same developmental stage .... has been done, though it is challenging.

All parents deal with a sense of loss if their child has a dsiability - very normal. Then they feel bad for feeling bad, cause they love their kid. That is normal too.

All kids have strengths and challenges .... the world known painter with the kid who can't color in the lines

The professional basketball player with the kid who trips walking across the room

Or the mom with the child who is gifted beyond measure by crys herself to sleep each night becuase she has no friends .....

We all have a vision of what we want for our kids.... it will be fine, and you know that, but the words don't help because they don't honor where you are at ... you don't feel fine ... and that is okay too

Lacy - posted on 06/06/2011




Yeah I have been praying about it!! I know he won't give me more than I can handle :)
And I'm living with a friend right now and I know she will be here for me! And thanks for the links its much appreciated, I'm definitely going to look into them!
And my son has pt and ot once a week. And I want to get him in group therapy, but I just don't know how much time I'll have after this baby.
I know its a learning process and its possible. Women do it all the time, its nice to have women to talk to about it so I don't feel so alone. I appreciate all the advice and I'll try not to stress or freak out!

Katherine - posted on 06/06/2011




I would start checking into disability resources for him. I think they provide help too. I'm not sure if you have done this? Maybe your doctor can help you.

Linda - posted on 06/06/2011




It sounds like you have your hands full! However, fear will not help your situation. Just do your best. If you know God, then I would encourage you to pray about it...and if you don't know God, then I would encourage you go get to know him! I personally would not want to face the difficult times in life without Him. Then, just take one day at a time.

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