Ideas to help my 2 year old son feel important after I have my second child! Jelousy.

Teresa - posted on 03/28/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have a two years old son who up till the recent months has been the only child on my mind, but now that I found out I am pregnant again I feel he is super jealous. I have bought a couple of things for the new baby like a bed and carseat and he wants to be the baby again! How can I make him feel like he is still the most important?


Denikka - posted on 03/28/2013




Well, he isn't anymore. Both children are very important, and should be shown that, but he's no longer the only center of your world. It can be a tough change for some kids.

My son and my daughter are 22 months apart. When I was pregnant with my daughter (specifically after I started to show and my son noticed), I would have him come and talk nice to the baby. I made it a big exciting thing for him, that he was going to be a big brother. I involved him in as much as I could. I found out the sex of the baby as soon as I could, so I had him help me pick out clothes and some small toys for her, had him talk to her and he'd kiss my tummy goodnight.
After she was born, I had him help me as much as possible. He'd go grab diapers or blankets for me, he'd talk to her just like before she was born, and he'd give her a kiss goodnight. As she got a little older and started holding up her head, I let him hold her (him sitting down and supporting her up against front) and he would come and play with some of her toys while she was having tummy time.

Besides involving him as much as possible (mommy and daddy weren't having a baby, Mommy, Daddy AND Torin were having a baby), I also made sure that there were some things that stayed just for him. At the time it was a little difficult due to circumstances to do much, but things like bath time, potty time (he was potty training at the time she was born), and especially bedtime were just for him. Baby stayed out of the room at those times and he had my undivided attention, every single day.
I also made sure, and still do, to make sure to do things with just him. We do a lot as a family, we're together most of the time, but occasionally I (or dad) just go out with him. Not even always to something fun, sometimes it's shopping or running to the corner store, but it's still something.

Some kids get more jealous than others and need more one on one time than others. You'll have to judge with your own child. But the two main things are to get him as involved as possible, talk to him about how he feels about it, and make sure you make time to still make him feel special. It's so easy to get caught up with the new baby and kind of push the older child to the side, because they don't need as much attention and care that a newborn does.
I got lucky with my children. My son was ecstatic to have a younger sibling and they, now 4 and 2, love each other dearly, even when beating on each other :P
I now have another one on the way and while right now, the kids are happy and interested about it (not all that interested yet, I'm only 25 weeks and not showing much yet and not much feelable/visible movement yet :P) , I have some concerns about how my daughter, now the baby, will react to being usurped as the youngest. She's always been interested in babies and has reacted well to visiting we shall see :)

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