If i get pregnant as a teen, would it effect my opportunities in life


Laura - posted on 03/02/2011




yes , it changes everything. im a teenage mother and its hard , my daughter just turned 1 last friday . & i wouldnt trade her for the world but i do wish i would have waited too start having sex. it changed everything for me ; im home schooled & cant go back too public school because i dont have someone too watch her. i wanted too go out of state for college but i cant now because the college i wanted too go to you have too live on campus for a year. & i wouldnt have a baby sitter. not too mention babys cost alot of money. they need alot of things. it means growing up before you should have too & not worrying about yourself. i had the choice too have a abortion or keep her. i kept her because my baby shouldnt have too die because i wasnt careful . i always went by the saying " having a abortion dosent make you not a mother - it makes you the mother of a dead baby. if you are pregnant , i wish you the best of luck.

Strawbewy_apple - posted on 10/18/2012




I think both ages have pros and cons but I think many older women think its hard with babies because you have so much less energy when your older and harder to adjust to any changes. As a younger person you just grow and mature with your child and enjoy them not only as a baby but as they get older too because they love hanging out with young parents. As opportunities go me and my hubby got pregnant at 18 ( after we got married) and after we had 2 babies we went to study, I am now a registered nurse and my hubby is graduating soon to become a doctor. Did this without anyone's help as our family is interstate. So anything is possible! Young parents are awesome!

Rose - posted on 03/04/2011




If you are not pregnant yet, please wait until you are in your 20's. Being a mom is wonderful, but hard work and it is very expensive. If you want something to take care of, get a puppy! At least you can leave the puppy home alone as you go to school. You should take this time to focus on graduating and hopefully going to college. Start your future with a good job and a solid relationship before bringing a child into this world....you will be a lot happier if you wait a little....enjoy this time to have FUN and sleep in late!

User - posted on 03/03/2011




i got pregnant when I was 23. I had just finished a degree in a career that I am no longer pursuing. I kick myself all the time for not being more careful. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter and she is an important part of my life, but I do wish I would have waited.

This conversation has been closed to further comments


View replies by

Veronica - posted on 03/04/2011




Being a former teen mom as in 15 when I got pregnant and had my daughter just after I turned 16. If you are that young I would NOT recommend it. I had great family support and still struggled to finish school. I did it and I would not change it but it would have been a lot easier if I would have waited. my daughter is going to be 17 this year. and has no thoughts of following in my foot steps

Rhonda - posted on 03/04/2011




Whatever age you are life with a child will be difficult. If you are pregnant and you are wondering what decision to make when looking at your options, please make the decision that WORKS FOR YOU and is in the BEST interest for your baby. No baby wants to be brought into this world and placed in the arms of someone who cant love them b/c of who the dad is or who has great resentment. You need to think can you devote your whole life meaning energy, love, self, time, sleep,social life, space anything you think is yours to that baby because you will need to share all of it. You need to think would you be able ( it wil be hard) to drop everything for that baby on a dime, spend your money on that baby instead of that new cd or shoes, not worry about your appearance ( a little but not as great as you may now) b/c you will need to get used to sporting the sent of dirty diapers and vomit and some stuff in your hair and on clothes including and not limited to the above. Any opportunities you might have now or is set for the future might not happen or it might be delayed. Having a baby in your life is not a burden but a struggle and blessing. Parenting is definitely hard and not for everyone, its not always what you expect!! Whatever your decision your thinking for more then yourself remember. Abortion, Parenting, Adoption its your decision you have to live with your choices:) If you are thinking about getting pregnant look at stability, maturity,and capability. Its not recommended to be a teen parent but hey lots of teen mom and dads have done it and many have made the best of it and moved on to have wonderful, educated, structured lives. Sit back and look around you, environment, family, peers ect thats where you start Good luck best of wishes

Louise - posted on 03/04/2011




You have plenty of time on your hands to be a mum whats the rush. Take it from me when you have to plan a social life around baby sitters and grandparents helping out it is not much fun. A baby needs you 24 7 whether you are tired or not that baby comes first. Gone is your freedom to do what you want you have somebody else to consider now. Having a child is the most challenging thing you will ever do and the more life experience you have the easier it is. I am not saying that teen mums are not good mums because they are but it is not like the programme 16 and pregnant on MTV it is exausting and at times very lonely. Having a permanent partner is also a huge help somebody to share the work and support you financially and emotionally.

If you are not pregnant then please think very hard if this is what you want, because once you are pregnant it is to late.

April - posted on 03/04/2011




yes it will becoming a mom is a very big step and it takes alot of ur time and free time. I was a young mom and i would think very hard on it before u did it not trying to tell u what to do. I dont recommend anyone becoming a young mom

Jessica - posted on 03/03/2011




I was 23 when my son was born...I am married and have a very supportive husband and I still struggle with life as a mother! My son was planned and I do not regret him for a second but there is so many things I was blind to prior to becoming a mother. I knew babies were expensive but never realized how quickly things such as formula and diapers add up. Not only is a baby hard on the pocket book, being a mother takes a toll on your social life! People who I thought were my friends quickly disappeared from my life when I no longer could go out! Things such as going shopping or out for dinner are things I now have to plan ahead of time to do...My husband and I no longer have the love life that we once had as newly weds, We try to plan date nights at least once a month but that can prove to be hard even! My son is my world and I love him unconditionally but please think about this one long and hard if you are not pregnant already! And if you are pregnant....find supports to help you! if you are planning to start a career or go to college post baby, you will have to be ok with someone else watching/raising your baby for the majority of the day! Before having my son I was enrolled in college with only a year left, I thought I would have no problem putting my child in daycare during my last year but now that he is here I know I don't have it in me to leave him! I don't know if this helps at all but I hope in someway it does!

Stifler's - posted on 03/02/2011




I think it affects your entire life at any age. Your house is set up for kids, swing chairs in the kitchen, swings hanging off your porch, car seats in your car, taking a pram and baby everywhere, food on your carpet, locking cupboards with anything glass in them if they're down low, closing the toilet door constantly, having to go home from friend's parties and bbqs because your baby is cracking it and just wants to be in their own bed vs. a pram or porta cot. Forgetting things like bottles and stuff on a trip is an expensive exercise. I never realised how much having a kid changed my life until just now hahahaa.

Bonnie - posted on 03/02/2011




Not just your opportunities in life, but overall having a baby as a teen will effect you. Having a baby at any age will effect you, but I would say a lot more as a teen IMO.

Alecia - posted on 03/02/2011




Yes, it will affect oppotunities in life...but it can be done. I do not agree with Shawnn that u need to wait til ur mid twenties to even think about it. i was 22 when my daughter was born and hope to have another this yr (i will be 24 in Sept.). u need to be in a stable, committed relationship and just realize that its not as easy as u think. being a teen and still in highschool will make ur life dramatically harder, but it can be done with a good support system. if ur a 'teen' and have graduated HS, then at least u have a few more opportunities, but having some kind of college degree can really help. if ur thinking about getting pregnant, i would wait just a few yrs (if ur around 18-19). most ppl mature alot in those few yrs and u still have plenty of time to have kids. if u are pregnant then good luck and congrats! babies are a blessing, but its takes a village, even when ur older.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/02/2011




Oh, and one other thing...Most girls like to have the "extras", you know, expensive hair, nails, clothes, etc. Well, once you are pregnant, that baby comes first. Formula, diapers, equipment, etc, are ALL more important than your highlights or nail job. A lot of teen moms just don't get that. They don't understand why they should have to give up what they want.

Honestly? A teenager has absolutely NO BUSINESS having a baby. 9.5 of them out of 10 don't have the common sense required to raise a rabbit, much less a child. I know that seems harsh, but I see it on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, I've already told my sons that, if they play, they pay, and this Grandma will NOT raise the baby. This Grandma will also NOT give permission to help with an abortion, because I do not believe that an easy out is the way to teach responsibility, so if my sons ever get a girl pregnant, they and their girlfriend are going to have to be responsible. Whether that means adoption or keeping the baby, will be up to them.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/02/2011




I can only repeat most of the rest of the answers: YES, it will affect your life, your lifestyle, and the choices you make in the future. No matter WHAT age you are, 16 or 36, a baby is a BIG CHANGE. It is not something to take lightly, and in my opinion, should not even be considered before you're in your mid-twenties, and then ONLY if you have your head on straight and will be able to support another life for 18 years, because that is what it takes.

Pamela - posted on 03/02/2011




Absolutely. Your world changes completely and statistically, not for the better. There is a wonderful option you may consider if you are already pregnant:open adoption. Everyone wins! Your baby has a great life w/ a loving couple and you can pursue your dreams and stay in his/her life....

April - posted on 03/01/2011




I got pregnant when i was 19. I was almost done with college. So yes, i'd say it does effect your life. I can't do as much as i did, i haven't been able to finish college yet (my daughter is two now and i have a 6 month old son) but i think i'll be able to start this year. Life gets harder BUT you get through it, if you have that support and love from those around you having a child can be the most rewarding experience you can ever have.

I love being a mother (even if i'm 21 with two kids :s LOL) and even though it has it's ups and downs, i wouldn't change it for anything.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/01/2011




14 or 40, it still makes a huge impact.
Getting pregnant while still a teen DOES lesson your opportunities, but that doesn't mean your opportunities are gone forever.
I got preg at 18, so for me, university went out the window. But I can still go back later; and I'm planning too. I'll be a student at 27!

Casey - posted on 03/01/2011




It doesn't matter how old you are when you get pregnant you could be 13 or 40 it's going to be a massive impact on your life and it changes everything!!!
However if you decide to get pregnant as a teen you need to be prepared for all the things that you have to give up just like any other mum, you no longer get to go out when you want, see you friends when you want, buy yourself new clothes, get your hair done, get a job, go to school, go out partying or drinking ect because you have to be there to look after that baby and the baby will always need something that is more important then the things you want or need. You give up so much when you have a child and I think when your older it's easier to accept the things that you have to sacrifice but when your younger it's harder because all the things that you friends are doing your not able to do.

Carolyn - posted on 03/01/2011




to sum it all up, learn to take care of yourself ( education, job, life experience, roof over your head) before signing up to take care of yourself and a baby. protected sex till you have your own life sorted before creating another life.

Susan - posted on 03/01/2011




honey u dont want to get pregnant as a teen yes it makes life more difficult because then u have someone else to worry about and we wont talk about all the equipment u will need and the babysitting if u work which u will have too to afford ur children honey im 40 and still have a hard time i got pregnant early on and its been hard ever since

JuLeah - posted on 03/01/2011




Yes and no. Every choice we make effects the opportunities in our lives. We might take this highway to work, or a back road and be involved with or avoide a crash.

We might answer a phone call from a number we don't know and meet our new best friend.

If you like to go out with your friends on weekends ... kiss that good by. In fact, kiss your friends good by. They won't understand your new life and won't be able to relate. They will wish you well, but move on with their lives which won't have room for a baby.

College is spendy ... college + rent + books, very spendy. College + rent+books+ childcare is out of this world.

Think you can support a child without a college degree? Think again.

Can it be done? Yes, many many young people have done it and done it well. Here might be your average day: Up at 6 to have the baby at the sitters by 7 so you can be at your morning job by 8. Work til 12 or 1 and head to class ... pick baby up from the sitter by 5 or 6 and go home to do the dinner, bath, play time, and bed thing .... study until mid night or so. Baby wakes at 2 and maybe again at 4. Get up by 6 to get the baby to the sitters by 7 .....

I can be done, but were it me, I'd wait :)

Tara - posted on 03/01/2011




If you get pregnant, teen or not, it will affect your opportunities in life. Having children affects all aspects of your life, both positively and negatively.
I had both my girls after I was already well-established in life (my 1st girl was born when I was 35, my 2nd girl when I was 37), and I've still gone through retraining so I can work from home and bring in some income instead of working to pay the daycare.
Add in serious sleep deprivation (even with a good sleeper), having to rearrange your life around your child, scheduling things like time with your husband/boyfriend, etc - I can definitely say it would affect everything in your life.
If you get pregnant as a teen, it would very likely affect things even more as you may or may not have to figure out how to finish high school, how to get any extra education in order to support yourself and your child in the event that the father doesn't stick around, figuring out where/how you are going to live, not having the ability to just go anywhere on the spur of the moment.... you get the picture.
Definitely need some serious thinking all around before pregancy, teen or not.

[deleted account]

Are you pregnant now? Or just asking hypothetically?

Having a baby at ANY age has many effects on your life. Some positive, some negative.

If you are pregnant... there are many resources available to help you, but it is NOT easy. If you are not pregnant.... I would advise you to not be having sex (though many, many people will tell me that is 'too unrealistic') or at the very least... double and triple up on the types of birth control you are using (like take birth control pills, use a diaphram, and make him use a condom).

I hope I've been at least somewhat helpful.

Alison - posted on 03/01/2011




Thirteen or nineteen? Getting pregnant at any age will have a lasting impact on your life. I cannot say I would recommend becoming a mother too young, but you can really make the best of every situation.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms