If I lie to my child and tell her I don't know her father knowing she is a product of a rape can't she look at me different or even badly?

Amanda - posted on 03/14/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




One out of four of my kids are a product of a rape and I am very scared of telling her the truth one day but After doing so much research More people say they wouldn't tell and woudn't want to know. So if I lie and tell my child (Lauren) and keep it simple by saying Idk him... Can't she turn on me and look at me diffrent or even badly?


View replies by

S. - posted on 03/14/2012




I personally wouldn't tell her or want to be told if I was your daughter I'm not sure what is to be gained by telling her the truth and I think more harm can be caursed by this horrible man, I wouldn't want her thinking she was the product of a evil thing, or imagining my pain when she looks in a mirrow it's not her pain to live! All she need's to know is that she clearly has a loving mother who's done her best by her, I am in a horrible dilemma my self (that I don't really want to go into) but I know how you feel, not knowing if your doing the right thing, it's not nice xx

Kaitlin - posted on 03/14/2012




First of all, I want you to know that I think you are incredibly brave and a wonderful mother.

My mother's best friend (my 'aunt') is the product of rape. She was adopted, and later when she found out about her roots, she was unable to meet all of her birth family (including her father's family) because many had passed away. While she wasn't exactly looking for her biological father, she was looking for more medical history and her father's family, some of whom she knows now, and is very thankful for them.

I would say keep it simple while she's young, but don't hide the truth from her. I would think she would admire you, for giving birth to her and raising her despite the tough situation of her conception. There will be a right age to tell her (though this depends on you and on her- 16? I don't know) but she does have the right to know.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms