if the father refuses to be part of my sons life, how can I still get him for child support?

Kelli - posted on 03/09/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




I am in the Navy active duty, going to school and now 22 weeks pregnant. I left the father of my child right after finding out was pregnant. He went from wanting everything to do with him to wanting nothing to do with him. I cannot do it alone. he is Also acitve duty Navy and has another child, can i not put him on the birth certificate and still recieve child support

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Jenni - posted on 03/09/2012




How do you know he isn't going to come around after the birth? You're only 22 weeks pregnant, correct? How much can he really do at this point? I wouldn't go writing him off yet.

Whether you put him on the birth certificate or not. You can't write him off being in your child's life. If he really wants to be, he'll just take you to court and get a DNA test. And I can almost guarantee if you order him to pay child support he is going to want visitations to the child he's paying for.

And honestly, I'm not even sure if you can make him pay if he's not on the certificate unless you order a DNA test in court. Which proves he is the father right there. Whether or not *you choose* to leave him off the BC doesn't take away his rights as the father. He has to sign away his rights. After of course proving he is the father. If you both agree to signing his rights away. No, he will not be obligated to pay CS.

What about your child? Do you think it's really fair to him to not have a relationship with his biological father? The one that you want to take away his rights before he's even born? .... but still expect him to pay for the child? Sorry, you can't have your cake and eat it too. It all sounds incredibly selfish. I hope this is just a frustrated moment for you in your pregnancy.

Deidre - posted on 03/09/2012




ABSOLUTELY!!! And don't be fooled, lady, YES you CAN do it alone!!

If this is your first baby, I will say this.... It is a VERY emotional roller coaster. For yourself as well as for him. You may go from cutting him off completely and feel you are better off with him dead and then when he shows up at the BIRTH of your baby you just fricken melt and your over the moon and want to be a family and want to marry him!!! Trust me it happened to me and I felt like I was totally out of my mind!! They say not to make any MAJOR decisions while your pregnant. I agree 100% as well as during the first year of your baby's life. Your body goes through some crazy ass stuff and our minds are connected to our emotions sooooo, it is very dangerous. I hate regrets and I feel I have many because I did all kinds of crazy stuff during those times LOL :)

But none of that has anything to do with collecting child support. It is your childs right. No matter if the father is from Yale or Jail he HAS to pay child support. Regardless if he has visitations or not, he must pay. I recommend contacting your local Department of Child Support Services and giving them any and all information you have on him. Request a Wage Garnishment as well. Explain he has refused to cooperate and you do not trust he will make the payments on his own. There will be paperwork to fill out. The amount will be balanced and go according to both of your incomes. They just make it fair for both parties.

Good luck and don't ever say you CAN NOT do anything ever again!! You can do everything you put your mind to do. :) PS from my experience he technically doesn't have to be named on the certificate. You can put unknown... But honestly, that's terrible. To pretend you don't know who the father is is not right. It's doable, but it's not right. Also creating a parenting plan with the courts is REALLY the better way to go anyway. It protects you as well as the baby. He will be court ordered to physically participate and pay also. We are creatures of emotion and too many times our children get the short end of the stick. I may HATE my son's father, but they still have the right to have him in their life. Not that he has complied with the court order, but at least I did MY part so later on in their life they can't blame me for anything!!! Like how I blame MY MOM!! LOL

Chrystal - posted on 03/09/2012




No you can't not put him on the certificate but still get child support. If he's listed as father in your child support case then he either will say yes he is the father or be proven to be by a DNA test. Once it's on record he is father then you can get support but he also gets full rights unless you also file for and get full custody.

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Why would you not put him on the birth certificate and still go after him for money? Either he's the father and entitled to all rights (if he wants them) and responsibilities or he's not. It's not right to want it both ways. You can't FORCE him to want to be an active part of your child's life, but by not putting him on the birth certificate you are saying you don't want him to be a part of your child's life.... yet you still want the money. That's not fair.

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