Im having a dilemma.about weddings invites My oldest daughter has been a troubled child most of her life. When she was a teenager she would steel from us, charge things on my mastercard, run away numerous times, she would tell us off and her freinds would tell us off. I went through counsellors with her etc etc...after her moving out and running away with her freinds and once coming back pregnant i had enough. I had 3 younger kids then her and they were watching how she treated us. I made the choice of telling her this is unacceptable behavior and if she chooses it and her freinds and all the moving out she wasn't playing this yo yo game again. My parents whom live 5 hours away knew the hell i ut up with when she was 15-16 years old and this one day behind my back my daughter moves into my moms house. When i then called my moms house my daughter answered and Said What the &&&& do I want? I was furious and asked my mom wh she was there. She told me she was letting her live there.I was stunned. So all my parenting of tough love went out the window. My mom continued to have problems with her and couldnt get her to shcool etc.My mother chose to be her best friend instead of being the new parent. I was furious. I remeber my mom calling nd asking for help with her but it took all the strength inside me to say this is your problem now. My other 3 kids are good kids. The second oldest has become a nurse, just as me and works hard. My younger are still in high shcol and are doing well. I dont really talk to my parents of my oldest daughter as I trust neither of them and the anger and hurt i feel inside keeps coming back. I neve visited my mom since my daughter moving in there, which has been 7 years. I just cant do it as when my daughter lived there my mother would allow her to run me down in front of everyone and my mother wouldnt say a thing.I cant put myself back into a sitiaution that is so unstable. So now a new issue has arose..My oldest daghter and her sister, the oder 2, dispise each other.The oldest calls down the younger one, and the younger one caught her stelling all her brand name hoodies one day so she has lost all trust in her older sister. Now the younger sister is gettting married and she refuses to invite her oder sister. She tells me she wants her wedding to be about herself and fiancee, not the drama her older sister constantly posseses. My parents say they wont come to her wedding unless the oldest is invited and coming. My parents give me hell cuz they say I am to tell my 20 year to invite her. My reposnse back is that this is m 20 year olds wedding, her dream. I cant invite epople whom she dont want there.I said my daughters wedding is not the place for a family reunion of drama. Its her time only and he special day. I said o my parents if they dont come thats their issue, i told the it was rude to put that comment of if the odest sister isnt invited we arent coming. How dare they? This isnt about my oldest daughters. It about my second oldest daughter. Why does it always have to be the oldest is the golden child. I dont get it. My seond oldest never gets noticed by them. she graduated, became a nurse never tells her parent soff she is a gem!! A true beauty. Im just so lost. Any advice would be welcomed thanks you


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Dove - posted on 01/15/2013




Her wedding, her business. You are right to stay out of the invite issue completely.

Lakota - posted on 01/15/2013




I think you are right - this is your daughter's day. It's not up to anyone but her. It is her wedding. If your parents can't get over themselves, then, mail them some wedding pictures and be done with it. Keep your head up.

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