in desperate need of advice

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

Hello so I'm a 24 year old stay at home mom of 3 a 6 year old a 3 year old and a 10month old when I was at the end of my pergnacy with my youngest my husband started online dating an that plenty of fish and started talking to this girl all the time he told me it was a guy from work when I asked who he was texting all the time and didn't think anything more if it he was even talking to this girl while I was in the hospital bed to have our son I spent a week in thee hospital with our son because he was early and when I came home my husband hardly wanted to talk to me then I seen the texts and figured everything out this is after he left to go meet up with her over 2 hours away and left me with our 3 children sitting home right after I came home from the hospital he swears up and down he will never do it again and he didn't realize how much he loved me until he almost lost me , I have always said the only way he would lose me is if he hurt me and mg god did he hurt me I have never felt so betrayed in my life I honestly feel like the second I found out I lost all love and respect for him but because we have 3 children I felt I owed it to them to at least try to fix things its now been 10 months and we barley talk other then little comment when we have sex its so awkward and I honestly feel no connection anymore I truley feel like he does not want to be with me and he is afraid to say it when I try to talk to him or my kids try to talk to him he is in his own world the only time he wants to talk is if he is mad I don't no what to do I do love him and care for him but not in the way a wife should and I feel like he feels the same please what do I do ...


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[deleted account]

Thank you for your reply I have been struggling with this so much I do care about him still but I really feel the love and respect is gone and we have completely disconnected we barley talk and when we do it's awkward I have always till him that if he ever cheated that would be it but when it happened I kinda freaked out and panicked about being alone the week after I had our third child and I don't want to sound selfish but I feel like the only reason I'm still here is because I'm scared to go from stay at home mom to single mom but that's not far for me or for my husband because even though he hurt me so much and I don't feel that love anymore I do still want to see him happy

Michelle - posted on 06/17/2015




Well my ex husband cheated on me when I was pregnant with our 1st child. I found out 2 years after it happened and tried to keep the marriage going because I took my vows seriously. We did have a 2nd child but I had lost all trust in him and couldn't keep going.
I left him when our 2nd child was 1 and it was hard but I knew I couldn't stay with him. Yes, there other issues in our marriage as well but that was the deal breaker for me.
I have since met and married an amazing man and have had a 3rd child that I was never going to have.
The choice to leave or stay is only something you can decide. My Grandmother said the worst thing parents can do is stay together just for the children. Her parents did that and she said it was such an unhappy house to grow up in.
You need to think of your own happiness and that of your children. Children can be happy even if their parents aren't together. My 2 are very well grounded, have great friends and do well at school. They have a stable home with me (I do 50/50 shared care with my ex) and are now very thoughtful young men.

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