Inlaws and how to deal with them

Jennifer - posted on 02/19/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Well I have been married to my husband for 4 years and together 6 years. he is 12 years older then me so I feel as if I was marked from the very start with his family due to my age. I tried worked very hard for there approval, and never got it. A lot has happened over time and I feel its best that I just close the door, but I am having a hard time doing that within myself. I did not know my grandparents and wanted more for our daughter but its not there. My husband had a son with his ex and he is 17 and my in laws give him everything and he is never wrong. Our daughter 3 is the 1st grand daughter and they are not close to her at all. Its sad because our daughter did not ask for this. That is why I tired so hard to keep the family together but its way to much stress. It breaks my heart to have to go threw this again. we went threw this 4 years ago, and that was hard. I tried to just let it go, I have tried to ignore it, but I do not like how they treat her, me, my other kids and even my husband. My husband agrees with me and he says it too is also done, but it hurts me. I try and try and nothing was every good enough. I feel as if I failed even though I know I didn't it hurts.


Cecilia - posted on 02/19/2013




Well have you tried to sit down as an adult and talk to them about it? They may not mean to treat her badly. Maybe the 17 year old is able to ask for things that he needs or wants and it is brought to their attention. My in-laws kinda did the same thing but in a different way. I had 3 children prior and when i had a little girl to my husband they showered her with gifts. I brought up that unless they started to send stuff for every child they should probably not send anything. They said they didn't really think about it since they would just find cute baby girl things and didn't mean to be mean. After that they did as i asked and sent something for everyone in each package. sometimes it was just a gift card to go buy themselves something. Now we all get along just fine. Mind you i was asking for more than you are. I was asking they accept all the non-blood related grandchildren as equal.

If that isn't the case then maybe just let it go. By forcing the issue you might only be hurting your daughter more in the long run. When she gets old enough she will see what you see. I know you want to make it work but duct-tape doesn't fix everything.

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