Samantha - posted on 04/06/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




Just wanted to see if it is normal to feel insecure about having a baby. I feel like since I am a stay at home mom I continue to over think things. Like my husband masturbating and why it bothers me and I feel like I have to check and find out if he did it last night or after we had sex. Just don't like what I am becoming. I don't want to be the wife that checks up on her husband. I want to know but he just upsets me and hurts when I find it out. Just feel like I second guess my self now more then I used too and just want to know why and how to stop feeling this way.


Dove - posted on 04/06/2016




Sounds like you could benefit from some counseling... individual and couple's therapy.


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Sarah - posted on 02/10/2017




Sometimes people masturbate simply because they like masturbating (myself included) and not because they want sex but not with you (that would be demoralising.)
Don't rely on your feelings, talk with him.

Raye - posted on 04/06/2016




If you have reservations about having another child, then you probably shouldn't do it.

Masturbation is not a problem unless he is routinely preferring to masturbate instead of having sex with a willing spouse. Sounds like you still have sex together. Your mutual sex life can be satisfying, and he may still want to masturbate for any number of reasons. Maybe he needs to "unload" so to speak to make himself sleepy and doesn't want to bother you all the time. Who knows, except him? So ask HIM. If it bothers you, and if you're willing to engage in sex with him more often to fill his needs, then talk to him about it. Say "hey babe, I found this crusty old sock that you jacked off into, and I want to be that crusty sock. Lets have sex more, ok?"

And, as Dove said, it seems you have issues that counseling could help you to either overcome or help you communicate better with your partner to resolve together.

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